Me/And a Gun/And a Man/On My Back
Apparently men’s attention is a function of my weight more than any other factor. I thought I had aged out, transed out, de-femmed out and weighed out of their vision and the last six months have sure shown that to be wrong. I’m sure the world collapsing doesn’t help, but the only thing that actually kept them away was fat as far as I can tell. The horror of being visible to men again is transcendent.
It took me weeks to realize the reason I can’t stop being constantly irritated and annoyed at suddenly being visible to men again is that it makes me dysphoric. Straight men trying to do straight sexuality at me is so fucking uncomfortable and inappropriate. <and so embarrassing for them. Do they not see themselves?> It makes me feel bone-deep queasy. I absolutely am whatever gender straight men are most grossed out by being attracted to. My gender is grandpa or loud sea witch or Baba Yaga. How do I get cishet men to see me as Zorg from the Fifth Element and only that.
As long as you are happy in your own skin that is all that matters….
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I commiserate in my own sort of way. (Even though I’m aware of the differences and that it must be worse for you. I recognize this.)
I’m so uncomfortable with unwanted attention from men that I gained a ton of weight and mostly try to be invisible…. if you figure out how to get them to view you as Zorg, gimme the secret, please.
@thecriticsdarling It’s directly adjacent and the two shapes share their longest side, don’t worry. Same genus, closely related species, in taxonomic terms lol.
I wasn’t trying to lose the weight, and was fine with it happening. But absolutely fucking gobsmacked that The Men™ appeared again, in force, within 6 months. We’re not in our 20s anymore wtffffff.
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