Feeling Down
I’ve been feeling crappy all day. I woke up and got sick at 2am. Went back to bed. Slept really, really late. (1pm. For serious.) I took down all of the Christmas stuff, got most of it in the attic. I went to the gym (against my better judgement.) Came home, did the dishes, put a bunch of new stuff away, and ate dinner.
Exhausted. I know I did way too much today when I shouldn’t have. The biggest one being going to the gym. I did about 40 minutes on the elliptical, and my stomach started doing flips. I felt fine for the entire afternoon after I got up, but when I do something that’s healthy for me, I feel sick again.
The worst part of today wasn’t even that big of a deal, but it really upset me. And I know it isn’t even worth being upset about, but I am. After I ate dinner (plain, scrambled eggs and dry toast) I asked Sam if he would watch ‘Supernatural’ with me. I’ve been wanting to watch it all day. And he said he would like that. It isn’t a show that I watch with him. Its usually just something that I watch by myself, mostly because I’ve been pretty sure that Sam wasn’t interested. But since he said he wanted to watch it with me, I get him up to speed on what was happening in the show. Five minutes, just the Cliff Notes, really. And just as I pull up Netflix to get the episode started, he pulls out the other laptop and starts surfing Facebook instead.
Why did I even bother telling you what was happening in the show if you weren’t going to watch it with me? Why did you make me waste my time?
And what really gets my goat is that I watch all this bullshit with him. All of the shows that he likes, but I don’t necessarily enjoy. Like ‘King of the Hill.’ I really do not like that show, but because he wants to watch it, I do. And I pay attention to it. Because I know how shitty it feels to show someone something that you think is awesome, only to have that person not take an interest in it. Or not pay attention. I even watch his freaking documentaries with him. I let myself get educated because I know that he enjoys watching stuff like that, and wants me to take an interest in the things that he likes.
I know ‘Supernatural’ doesn’t realy hold a candle to documentaries. I know it is a stupid show. But I wasn’t feeling good, and he made me feel worse. And I hate that. Coddle me when I’m sick, dammit!
ALW