suffer in silent explanation

Today was especially difficult.  Its hard to suffer through things because you feel not good enough and like you’re going to mess everything up.  But its even harder to try to explain to people why you are so upset without telling them that you view yourself in such a negative way.  I continually try to change my thought pattern, but when people say certain things about me, I freak.  Even if a teacher uses me as an example for doing something wrong…when I didn’t actually do it…I feel panicky and like crying..like I’m some terrible person.  

I do my best to stay invisible to important people, but that’s impossible to do when you have to work with an important person.  I don’t know how I’m going to get through this…but yeah, yeah…I will somehow.