Actually Sad…

I’ve actually felt sad.  It must be a good thing.  I haven’t really had emotions other than anger in a while.  I even got teary eyed over stuff.  I miss my son and feel sad.  Feeling is good.  I need to acknowlege my feelings.  So is this a sad day or a low day or a sad bipolar type day?  I need to just embrace taht I’m sad.  I’ve acknowledged it and now need to figure out why. 

Why am I sad?  I feel alone.  I don’t know what to do with my marriage.  I feel sad when I have my past held over me.  I feel sad when I don’ think I’m lstened too.  I feel sad when I think of my son being away and being raised in a house that’s not my own.  I feel sad when I think of my health.

I feel happy thinking of todays election.  I"ve planned a little election party of my own where I’m eating friggin hot dogs, burgers, wings and FRENCH FRIES!!! 

THERE WILL BE NO GOD DAMN "CHIPS" IN THIS HOUSE TONIGHT!!!

It’s sad I’ll be on my own but at least I will be attemtping to have fun and do things for me.