We have contact…

Well i finally spoke to her… it’s been like a week.  To be honest I haven’t wanted to see or talk to her.  Our last encounter was of embarassing proportions and entirley childish and evil, on both our parts.  Frankly, I’m embarassed to admit to the whole thing, but it happened.  One thing that was for real was my anger and I don’t want to expose anyone to it.  I need to get my anger and my feelings in check.  But she called me at work and expected to talk.  In work… at the base… where I’m busy with my stressfull job.  Talk.  No.  The familiar anger popped up again but I had managed to keep in under control.  No outbursts or childish taunting or jabs.  I still don’t want to talk yet.  I think I’m still coming down from wherever the hell I was and working out what is going on with my feelings and emotions.  I’m trying to be more self-aware.  Deep breaths.  I need to be even more aware when I talk.

And in a totally unrelated offshoot / wandering thought, I need to remember how dangerous my job is.  Had to make an emergency return to base today.  Landed fine with a serious problem but all acted as we should and kept our cool.  Must rememeber to speak up, even at work!  May have saved your life today!