A heavy head…

So I had to go to the doctor today and get and excuse for being out of work for a week.  I got the doc to write it was a "viral illness".  Hehahahahhahah… sad, very sad.  Sad that I can’t put the truth down… the fact that I’m in the middle of a nervous breakdown, my wife is a nasty bitch who cares of no one but herself, my head is so heavy with thoughts and problems that I can’t sleep at night, that I feel utterly and totally alone because no one ever EVER listens to a word I say!  GUess you’d need a pretty big note pad for that

I guess the jig is up at work.  I’m sure they’ve figured out what is going on and I’m sure they’ll ask questions and it won’t belong before I’m sent for an eval and the truth of my craziness comes out and I’m fucked.  It’s my own fault anyway.  So I’ll be jobless, divorced, and living in a country that does shit for people with mental illness.  Sounds like a great combination.

Yeah and the "wife" is already playing sides.  Seems she’s been talking to my friends acting all concerned and stuff.  Meanwhile she is an evil person to me, threatening me… oh, no I’m sorry… PROMISING me that I’ll be sorry.  She sounds like my friggin mother!  The sad thing is that she will never ever never ever take a look at herself and realzie that the way she’s treated me has a lot to do with how I feel right now.  Nasty, miserable unfogiving person… Let’s see how you like it.  I know it’s wrong to act this way.  I"ve always  been a firm believer of treating others that way you want to be treated and turn the other cheek, but how long can you do that for when people walk all over you?  The principle is good, the praticality isn’t.  I’m standing my ground… She can now see what its like to deal with a nasty, unforgiving, self centered person for however longer I’m here.  Which, by my power, won’t be much longer.

I’d rather be alone… I rather would.