a manic high says hi…..

Yup… I’m officially on a manic high.  Never really been on one before that i can remember.  I’m supposedly a type II-er and I’m not supposed to get manic highs but here I am.

Well 24 hours later, I’m still in it.  Walked for 10 hours non-stop, haven’t really slept, and here I sit at 2 AM typing and playing poker to keep my mind occupied after being up for 24 hrs.

Not sure what triggered it… well I am sure the stress from my bitch "wife" hasn’t helped.  I was out with the boys from work, supposed to have a good time.  Then they told me I needed to go home? NO… I’m a big boy and can take care of myself.  Then, somehow, it ended up becoming a bad conversation about how I’m a ‘half rate’ winchman and I was only still working there by the grace of others.  Nice.  Just what I wanted to hear.

So I was enraged and walking around Dublin for 10 hours, ready to quit my job and move out… where to, I don’t know, but just away from here.  I’m still ready to do them both, just haven’t decidied if it is worth it.

To walk away would be easy ya’ know.  It would protect myself from any further damage.

And I never really realized how insane my mind is… especially when on a manic high.  Nothing makes sence… and the evil thoughts have reappeared.  very evil.  They really need to be controlled.  I think I may need to go to the hospital.  The level of apathy is scary.  Could give a rats ass about anything…

And I still don’t care… life sucks.