and the hardest paaaaart

i broke down and bought cigarettes today.  almost three weeks i made it.  went to the pub and smoked half a pack.  ugh.  i’ve been so stressed lately.  brad and i seem to be going nowhere.  i slept over at his place a few  nights in a row, and he opened up and told me things, and then our next days off he didn’t call me.  games!  bullshit games.  at this point i don’t know what to do with myself.  or him.  he’s a mess and i’m not sure if i want to be the one to clean him up.

i had a breakdown the other day.  it was a full moon on nightshift and everyone was crazy.  i probably should have gone home.