Georgia Peach.

July 1, 2020 – 6:23 P.M./11:02 P.M.

I honestly can’t escape you.

Went to the mall today with my sister. I had a list in my mind of candles I wanted to smell. However, the store was full of overflow scents leftover from the holidays so I didn’t see many I had planned on. Toward the end though, I was about to check out when I turned around and there it was; A Georgia Peach candle alone, out of place and just staring at me. Was it a stupid little sign or seriously sheer coincidence?

I think about the “choose to be optimistic” thing all those weeks ago. Wondering if that was a sign that has expired. Or if it’s something I should still consider. I have been wondering that for a long time.

I know you’re talking to someone on snapchat. I see you on all the time, and you’re not messaging me so I know you’re preoccupied. But that’s fine. I need to be without you anyway. The thought of you talking to someone else the way you used to talk to me almost makes me sick. Not because I want you necessarily but because it’s no longer me. If you were afraid of commitment you wouldn’t be talking to someone else like that. But because you are… I just take it personally. Like you no longer find me interesting or worth your attention. It’s gross.

I’ll slip away. Fade out and who knows? Maybe you’ll miss me. Doesn’t seem like it but I can’t see any other option for me right now. Don’t wanna put myself out there anymore. I put too much out already.