Busy

Judging from the responses from my last entry, anxiety is very very common and getting help for it in the form of meds seems to be the thing to do. I certainly feel it’s helped me.

I took a Xanax yesterday morning, knowing I had a lot to do, with little time to get in all in. I didn’t feel anxious about the chores, just thought that if I did feel stressed, all these things to do might cause it. (That is a very backwards sentence)

Got everything done, got home to see Terry before he took off to teach Thursday night karate at the YMCA, until 9PM.

Periodically, doing a system-check on myself to locate any stress/anxiety but came up empty. No, change that to come up with feeling darn good.

Had the evening to myself, after feeding the two ravenous big dogs who swear they haven’t been fed for days and days.
So settled down with greatly anticipated season premier of Project Runway, while I work on attaching fringe to the off white fisherman’s afghan I making for a Christmas present for a family member. A few of our family members will be receiving them this Christmas….. These relatives are extremely wealthy and need nothing and if they do, they buy it. So this is the best I could come up with. Besides, I enjoy it. and it supports my guilty pleasure of watching trashy reality shows.

Today was again filled with things to do but felt so good I didn’t take a Xanax. Terry joined me for these errands that included going to the market and later doing some prep food, since I had invited friends and their beloved twins over for Saturday to swim and have dinner. Ended up doing some things for my daughter, she joined us for lunch, then Terry helped her husband move some furniture and I scared my grand-cat by trying to clean her eyes.

Off to market, brined/marinated chicken breasts in OJ, salt, zezt & olive oil. Tomorrow I’ll make the orange sauce for it w/chunks of oranges, a fresh tomato/basil salad, rice medley, fresh baked bread and later a strawberry-banana trifle.

I’m not sure about the effects of my new friend, Mr. Xanax, but I do know so far I feel really good with it. It does seem to have another affect too, I say things I normally don’t. I dropped the F-bomb 3 times yesterday (not in anger but in conversation). Surprised my girlfriend, who stared at me and said, “I don’t know who are but please come back again!”
I think, in the last bunch of years, I’ve slowly become a more wishy-washy, don’t make waves, kinder, gentler, etc etc etc person. People used to say I was intimidating and fiesty. But that was awhile ago. Maybe I sort of lost myself while dealing with different aspects of life? Not sure yet, but I’ll be watching.