Nostalgia and Optimism

I sat down to write a short story, to write a post, and found myself at a loss for ideas. So, once again, I find myself scribing one of my seldom seen personal entries.

 To begin, I don’t know why I’m posting. I don’t really do much in the way of "Open Diary" any longer. It’s funny, this website was really the very first place I began to write. It was the first medium by which I felt comfortable posting my inner thoughts and feelings. I’ve had so many different diaries throughout the years, so many non de plumes. Am I Countingdown or am I Into It? Am I PlainOldMe or just Some Guy? I think after all this time I can finally settle upon Paul.

 The first thing I ever did on this website was post a series of shorts describing my group of friends growing up. I kind of structured it as one large story. Before I knew it I had daily readers, people that were actually invested in the characters that were my friends and family. They would leave notes begging for the next chapter and predicting what it was they believed was going to happen next. It was wild. It was invigorating. It was freeing. It was my way of reconciling the events that had composed my life.

 Now I’m close to writing for a living. My short stories evolved into novellas which then became screenplays (as I am a filmmaker). I love what I do. I love the expression. I love to write. And I suppose, I owe at least a small piece of that to this forum- hell, to some of you.

 In some ways it is nieve to think that some of you will actually read this, that some of you will actually recall conversing with me about writing. But I can’t help but be optimisstic in my nostalgia. There are certian things which restrict me from posting screenplays here, but a part of me wishes I could share my ideas with you all once more. A part of me sometimes wants to start anew, amass a new crowd, write to an audience again. But, alas, time does not permit me to do so. Instead, then, I’ll frequent this place, these people, and smile.

 To close I must say that I’ve had an up and down year. As I’ve matured I’ve gone through many emotions, many states. I’ve seen beginnings and I’ve seen ends. And I can tell you all, with absolute confidence, that the details are unimportant. Why is irrelevent to those that don’t really know you. Why is the 6 o’clock news. All I wish to say, and what I wish to leave you all with, is this: The good and the bad of life is distinct and separate from what kind of person you may or may not be. As you journey through these limited years, remember that the only person you have to answer to when you close your eyes at night is yourself. Accept yourself. Accept your flaws. Accept your decisions. And accept your past. Accept love. Deny hate. Live. Especially for those who cannot. And don’t write off good advice, even if it does sound cheesey.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have matters to attend to. Hope all is well in diary land. And whatever it is (because I know there’s something) don’t let it get you down. As is with all things, it’ll pass.

A guy