Providing Shape

Heaven is a jade stone.

Bill looked down at his hands. They were wet. He borrowed a towel from the linen closet to dry them. He looked back down. They weren’t wet anymore. He moved slowly across the room he had been in. It was mid day, but the room was very dark. It had no windows, and the door was closed. There was no furniture. There was no rug. There was only Bill and his guest.

Several months before Bill had dried his hands, he had met Caroline. She was a petite graduate student with aluminum eyes. Her face was specifically pretty; her hair was a short, perky blonde. Her body was shapely and her gaze was sharp. She always managed to stand out. Yet, she maintained a pleasant character, despite her appeal. Bill was drawn to her immediately. Bill was tall and lanky, nothing special to look at. He was not a graduate student but he often referred to himself as one. He was in no way flabby, but muscle too was nonexistent. He was skin and bone. But he had an elaborate smile that was undeniably attractive. His smile was his method.

They met in the Student Union. He had “accidentally” bumped her books to the ground. That afternoon, they had eaten lunch. The next evening, they had eaten dinner. The next weekend, they had gotten drunk. The next month, they were a couple.

Bill had a way of crafting people. It was a refined art. By the walk and talk of a girl, he could tell almost anything. Yet, the things he would dwell on were not good things. He often wondered about past sexual encounters and often wondered correctly. He knew the people he formed and he loved them. This was the basis for his talent. Yet, with a strong love resides the potential for an equal hatred. Bill was a craftsman; craftsmen know to disassemble that which is no longer serving its purpose.

Caroline found it difficult to attain closeness with Bill. She noticed his idiosyncrasies but felt a strong fear to point them out. Bill was a sweetheart, she knew this, but he gave off an air of respect. She did not wish to disrupt Bill’s air. He always seemed to stutter when they began talking about the past. She was sure that he had been hurt before; hurt by some other girl. Caroline recognized that she was most likely prettier than most girls Bill had dated in the past. She knew that this most likely terrified Bill. She wanted to assure him of their strength. But even she could not verify such a thought.

Bill felt very strongly about his convictions. So when Caroline invited him to Sunday mass, he did not respond well. It is best, here, to know what was said:

“Jesus committed the greatest folly. I too see Jesus as a great individual, yet he ended it all with a crushing legislature. We both are craftsmen; this is what we do. I craft that which I know, as did he. We both grasp humanity. Yet, he disrupted that which he knew not to disrupt. Surely someone with his knowledge should have known better. He gave the power to an unnatural state. He attained strength for the weak. He transformed a refined craft into a whorish prank. As far as I’m concerned, heaven is a jade stone.”

And Bill’s words cut into Caroline, much as the knife did.

Bill made his away across the dark room, toward the heaving mass in the corner. His dry hands were growing sticky. They appeared a shade of splattered gray in the darkness. He reached the quivering body and gave the thing his attention. Calmly he spoke.

“And so you are as the rest. Funny, I believed you to be different. I saw your eyes; the metallic quality of your soul. And I indeed loved you then. Yet, you speak of Jesus. And you speak of my disorder. Strangely I do this favor for you. What a life he set forth. Don’t you agree? I bet you do. Take this with you.”

The body shook weakly with fear and attempted to mumble something indistinguishable from her own sputtering of blood. Bill smiled for her, as if to say, “You’re welcome.” Then he took the knife from his pocket and sent her away to eternity.

And heaven was never anything but that. Heaven is a jade stone.

A guy