Tueday

I’m so glad the election is over. Some things went the way I wanted and some did not but that’s no different from any other election I’ve participated in. I’ve seen a lot of politicians come and go so there was no need to be upset about the results. Now I just have a “watch and see what happens” attitude. I did get a little upset here at OD before the election. I couldn’t help but resent some people writing about how negative and hateful the parties had become and yet, in previous entries, they themselves would be hateful and negative towards the other party. I find that difficult to understand. We don’t have to like the politicians we have in office but to become mean and incredibly disrespectful about them illuminates more of who you are than who they are.
One of my oldest favs has left OD. She never said it was because of what was going on here pre-election but she did voice how much it bothered her. I will miss her a lot.

Life has continued in its normal way for me. I help take care of the little twins when I can, I go to my art classes, and yesterday we went to the Rose Bowl swap meet to find treasures. Unfortunately, I seem to have twisted my previous knee injury so I’m hobbling around for awhile. I’m still working on my closet. Yes, it could have been finished but I’m taking my good ol’ time with it. It’s about 85 % done and I really love it. This wasn’t the usual once a year cleaning out but a total complete re-do with lots of big bags going to charity. Like I said, I’m making lots of changes to my wardrobe also. I have visions of the worker at the charity place checking through all the clothes I’ve donated and thinking some young lady has died. I hadn’t realized how young the clothes were that I had been buying. I’m not replacing them with elderly clothes but just more appropriate for my age.

Worked on rearranging the new bookshelves in the living room. They’re still not to my liking so I imagine more rearranging is in my future. I want it to be mostly books and just a few “things” but as I step back and look at it, there’s too many “things.’

Spent the day with my daughter on Halloween. We try to get together when one of us is feeling down. November is a hard month for us. I thought I was there to help her but as it turned out, she was there to help me. We ended up sitting at a little bistro table outside of Nordstrom’s, me with ice coffee and her, with ice tea, surrounded by little ghosts and goblins, trick or treating at the stores. As much fun as I have with her, it didn’t take much before I was crying as we talked about David and she was talking to me, as only she can talk and reach me at these times. Often it’s me talking to her while she cries. She’s trying to show me that I don’t have to always be strong which is a new concept to me. I thought I was role modeling but she seems to think I should just feel what I feel.
It will be difficult for me not to be “strong.” I promised never again to be “strong and in control” when it comes to my health again, like I did for so long with the virus in my heart. I think that will be easier to do than to not be strong when it comes to painful emotions. Maybe a little at a time.

The weather here is finally starting to cool down and it feels sooooo good. Yesterday while walking around with my girlfriend at the swap meet, we couldn’t stop looking at the big clouds moving over the mountains, the cool wind sweeping by, the big blue sky and just how beautiful it all was. California weather is darn near perfect most of the time but often we get just a little giddy when we finally get a change in weather. Makes for a great day.