It’s Not About Aliens But It Is About Being Probed

I suppose that someone out there may be wondering about my 5 day disappearance. The truth is I was kidnapped by aliens and have just now been released to return to my normal everyday life. OKay Okay. Maybe that is not exactly what happened be prepared for more information then you have ever possible wanted to know about me. It was a Wednesday 2 weeks ago and I was bored. I decided a long grooming session would be fun and alleviate the boredom. I took a shower and shaved ALL over. About 3 or 4 days go by and I notice a weird bump is forming. It grows and grows and now there are many weird bumps. Well like 4 large weird attached bumps that really hurt between my vagina and my anus. Sitting is excruciating. Standing sucks as well. On the Wednesday following the Wednesday I shaved, 2 hours before I left work, one of the bumps “pops.” Rather it started oozing puss and blood and smelled like rotting meat. I figured whatever would drain and it would be cool.
Thursday I was still having a ridicules amount of drainage and sitting was virtually impossible. I called out of work and made a appointment to see a Dr. on Friday. I arrive on time for my 9 AM appointment and waited for the PA. She took one look at my bumps and told me I needed to see a surgeon. She said she would call ahead to the emergency room and have me seen right away. Billy drove me over to the emergency room. I decided not to stop and get something to eat as I just figured they would lance the bump thingies and I would be on my way.
I checked in on my arrival and they sent me over to urgent care.The nurses came in and explained that they would lance the infected area and I would be on my way….Then they saw it. They were like “Oh no! That is too big for us to handle and shipped me off to the emergency department
People came and poked at my anus and vaginal area. I was embarrassed and in pain. Not a good combination. They gave me some oxycotton for the pain and left me lying there while they ran off to laugh about my privates. Eventually they came back and poked at it some more. The Doctor then explained to me that because of where it was located they could not be sure that the infection was just on the surface and they would need to do a cat scan to see if the infection was even more sinister than it’s obvious sinisterness. I said the oxy cotton didn’t work and if they were going to keep poking at it I needed something more. They gave me a shot of morphine.
The nurse comes back with a quart container filled with fluid. Contrast for the Ct scan. They said to drink it and in 2 hours they would take me to do the scan. I drank the contrast and waited and waited and waited some more. Meanwhile some other people came and poked and prodded my privates. Finally about 3 and a 1/2 hours later they came and took me for the scan. They injected me with the iodine that made my blood burn and took many pictures of my vagina. WEE! Then I was returned to my own personal hell. The emergency department. A women who did not look old enough to be out of high school came and said she was one of the surgeons and could I lay on my side in a fetal position. She then began Ramming her finger into my anus all around asking me if it hurt. I lay there humiliated, and said “Well It is pretty uncomfortable.”
She then left to look at the pics of my vagina. When she returned she had 2 others males with her. Another one of which looked not old enough to be out of H.S., and an older gentlemen. Once again I was asked to assume the position. This time however, they were not content to just poke a but with their fingers and mumble to one another. Instead the took a wooden stick and shoved it viciously into the draining abscess. At this point I started to cry. It was agony. It actually felt like they had ripped a chunk of my flesh out. On top of that I had been in the ER for 9 hours I was hungry, tired, scared, and everyone and their brother had been poking at my crotch.
The surgeons then went off to laugh at me some more. I was unable to stop crying at this point and the nurse came back and gave me some more morphine. Finally at 8:30 they said they were keeping me to give me antibiotics and further discuss the problem. At 9PM they brought me up to a room and gave me a sandwich some pills and some more morphine. I called my friends who were waiting in my apartment for me with some beer why I was not able to be there.
They kept me until today. They just gave me antibiotics via IV every 8 hours and insulin for the diabetes. Morphine for the pain the first 2 days then no more fun injections just the sucky one. I had a pic line installed for my return home. That is an IV line that starts at your elbow and goes all the way up your vein into your chest. I will have to give myself antibiotics 3 times a day for the next 10 days via this line before it can be removed. I may add in other things that went on during this time later, but for now I just want to chill. Later.