01/06/2020

Another summer day. Off work so headed out into the park to catch some rays. Symptoms came back a little bit though, kinda terrified the crap outta me and meant that I started thinking along stupid lines again. It was triggered by what I was listening to- I’m currently working through a lecture series on history of western philosophy, something I’ve always been interested in but never really studied properly, minus a couple of electives I took back in uni yeeears ago. I’m still at the beginning of the course, listening and learning about Plato and Socrates. Lol I only just learnt that Socrates was murdered- which did surprise me although not afterwards when I learnt why. Apparently he was corrupting the minds of the Athenian youth, and challenging the Greek theological system. So, for daring to present new ideas he was killed. It really isn’t so surprising when you think about it, although deeply depressing.

Watching the news this morning was also depressing. What’s happening in Minneapolis is just heart breaking, although I believe in what’s happening (being basically an anarchist at heart), I just hope and pray, hope and pray that they’re sensible and don’t let those who make statements along the lines of “well if they really want justice then why aren’t they attacking just police stations, why do they loot and attack their own towns.”  I almost got into an argument on twitter yesterday but held back because I could tell from the guys tone there was absolutely no point talking to him, and we would only be at loggerheads. I was going to say something about loss and anger, about how these people were justified in expressing their rage. But he wouldn’t have heard it.

Anyway symptoms came on today, I don’t suppose there’s really any reason to write about it, just that sometimes I hear things which resonate so strongly with the experiences I had when I was supposedly “unwell,” that it’s really fricking difficult to prevent ones head from being blown off. I’ve had to put it back on because it scared the shit out of me so much the first time around that I didn’t really take any of it in. I’m not going to not listen to a lecture because of terrifying voices. The voices are only affecting me, the experiences that I have do not relate to the world around me. I am stating pure obvious facts here and feeling stupid for doing so.

Anyway, what a beautiful day. Catch you later 🙂