BFN

Well to start with, thanks to everyone for their encouraging notes :o)

TTC can be so frusterating eh?

I wanted to cry today because Sean came back. Now Sean is someone who used to work at my job, and quit without notice, but because Wah (my boss) is so desperate, she hired him back, some two months later. Sean doesn’t shower, he has long greasy looking hair, he has bad B.O. Sean is slow, and immature, and young (he just turned 18).  You’re all wondering why I am rambling on about Sean. (oh and FYI this has nothing to do with the title of my diary, Sean USED to be the name I wanted to call my son…but I’m reconsidering with all these new seans I’m meeting. Anyways, getting off topic.

Sean’s GIRLFRIEND. Not even sure of her name. She used to come around when Sean was working there before and now she’s back. Yay. Let me describe her. MY age. Immature as HELL. I’m talking the immaturity of an 8 year old (and I’m trying not to insult your average 8 year old either). Giggly. Weird. Brings by all these guys in front of our work and tries to make sean jealous (your average teenage mindgames). Something very very off about her. She’s ALSO on AISH. Aish stands for Assured Income for the Severely Handicapped. It’s SUPPOSED to be be for actual handicapped ppl. Get this, my dad is PARALYZED and he still won’t go on AISH because he doesn’t consider himself that handicapped.  Of course, this being Canada, everyone loves to take advantage of the system that MY tax money goes to, so they can all lie around and eat food and complain about the system. So yeah, she’s on aish, perfectly capable of getting a job and making money like everyone else, but she needs aish because she supposedly had some mental break down and attacked her mother, so now she gets to hang around the mall giggling with her gothy emo weirdo friends, while I work my ass of so my tax money can SUPPORT her. GAH. Don’t GET ME STARTED.

Yeah.

She’s pregnant.

MMhhmmm.

PREGNANT.

Yeah. Great, So all these wonderful ppl on this ttc circle, and all the ppl around the world, dying to, desperate to concieve a little miracle, and THIS girl is pregnant with a baby. Sean’s baby. Good ol’ Sean is going to be a father, and she’s going to be a mother.

And my period is again, going to start any second now.

I mean I all know you all know, and I know, and we all know that life is JUST not fair, but sometimes it really has a way of rubbing things in.

I told her congratulations and that I was jealous and had been trying for quite some time. She stuck her tongue out at me and giggled. It was really the perfect end to the perfect day. 

So. to all those wonderful and SHOULD be parents out there… good luck, coz I know you’ve all had days like mine, and if anyone deserves to be pregnant, it’s each and every one of you.