Over 1 week on meds…Feeling Good.

It’s been a week on wednesday since I have been taking cipralex and I have to say, so far no more side effects. In the beginning I was feeling restless and got headaches and felt very tired but now it’s just the nasea I am dealing with. It’s not too bad though as it only lasts for about 30 mins or so and then goes away.

My mood swings are like not bad at all. When I get frustrated I don’t rage like before. However, I do also know that I normally go through good spells and then have my downs and the weather usually when it’s nice I feel better. I know it takes up to at least 2 weeks for the meds to kick in so I am thinking that my feeling good can’t be cuz of the meds but it could be in part as it could be like the placebo effect. Because I want it to work, I am thinking it will and is working and therefore am feeling better. Regardless, life is 100% better than it was. I am actually having fun in my life instead of trying to get through each day.

I do things that I enjoy and no longer look at my day as tasks that I have to bear through. I am staying active with my kids and myself and eating not enough but trying a bit more to eat better. I hardly weigh myself like before. I weigh in the morning then not again until night time. And that’s it. I used to weigh myself over 20 times a day. I have found suprisingly that my weight remains pretty stable. I have been slowly losing weight but only in small incriments instead of pounds at a time. I think this is better as I think it will be more permanent. Don’t get me wrong, I still have a ton of issues to work on in regards to my body, food and rituals and feeling worthy and all that.

I find it really hard to eat normal as I never feel full. My therapist today told me that it takes some time for my body to relearn how to send me the signal to tell me I am full and that if I normalize my eating instead of going up and down with it that I will eventually start to be able to feel full. That will be so nice. Right now I am having a really hard time at night with feeling an intense urge or need to eat. It’s like I can’t even concentrate or do anything because my mind is like telling me to eat. Even if I have something small that should normally satisfy someone, I still feel that urge. My thereapist also said that’s cuz it’s most likely emotional hunger that I am feeling but I have just bunched up emotional and physical hunger together and now have to learn to distinguish between the two. I am working on it.

I am no longer binging at night, ya for me. I do still eat at night but if i do I will have like a rice cake or some bran flakes or puffed wheat, an apple or whatever. I won’t eat until I am super stuffed anymore. I have learned or am learning to stop myself even when I feel like I want to eat more. I make myself go do something else and busy myself. It works pretty good in fact that’s why I am writing this entry right now. LOL. I don’t want to stuff my face so I am doing somethign productive.

Anyways, hope you all are doing great and hope the weekend is awesome for yall….