Bad beginning

Today I got a little upset with my husband in the morning so it kinda set me off for the first part of the day and I ended up using my hurt as an excuse to smoke. It just makes me feel so worthless and lonely and sad when my hubby talks mean to me. I am so easily offended it seems.

Anyways, I was able to pull myself out of it half way through the day. Still I smoked but not as much as I normally do so that was good. Am having a hard time letting go of that.

I binged last night which really sucked but was able to get back on track and just ate 3 small healthy meals today…The calories only amounted up to like 600 so it wasn’t bad. When I would start to feel sick from lack of food I would allow myself a little bite of something to feel better and didn’t cave and binge. That feels so great when I can do that.

I got my kids first haircuts today which was exciting. My son is 14months old and my daughter almost 4.5 years old. It was her first haircut too. She will have hair like me I think, fine and thin. It was nice to get that done though.

Not much else is new. I visited a friend today. Now I am just at home by myself which is ok. I love reading at night anyways. I feel good today and happy.

Oh and I wanted to say to whomever left me that random note on my diary that they are so dumb. How do they even know how much I eat, idiot. I hardly eat anything so why would I be 200lbs. When I binge it’s usually under 1000cals and that’s after I have been restricting all day. I guess some people just have nothing better to do with their time. You’re a close-minded idiot. Your words DO NOT hurt me in the least, but hey thanks for being interested enough to read my diary, although not sure why you are reading eating disorder entries if you are so misunderstood in the area….Read up on it a bit then come back and read through some entries….