New day, new plan

I woke 4 hours earlier than I have been crying.  The past 4 hours have been great, in that, I’ve formulated a plan and feel optimistic again (and that good ugly cry was helpful). I also managed to down an entire pot of coffee before the time that I usually get up. I switched to water after that.

New plan: Psychiatrists are not the only specialists in the sea! One issue I need treated (again) is ADHD. This was formally diagnosed in childhood by a pediatric neurologist. Dr. Google says that Neurologists can diagnose and treat Adult ADHD too! I went to my PCP about wanting to be treated for my ADHD which hasn’t been treated in literal decades, and we both agreed that a fresh diagnosis would be easier than attempting to get ancient medical records that probably don’t exist anymore. That combined with the high score on the depression screening pointed to a need for a psychiatrist. PCP said he could manage meds after I got a fresh ADHD diagnosis and a formal depression diagnosis (presumably something more specific than the 1 page questionnaire I filled out). Fun fact that I remembered this morning: Antidepressants are prescribed for both ADHD and for depression. So, possibly getting treatment for one could also treat the other. BAM! And, I’ve already secured a therapist. It remains to be seen how helpful she will be. That said, she’s really nice to me and at least easy to talk to about surface stuff. She can’t prescribe or diagnose, so I can’t have her do it.

I had to choose in my first session whether we’d focus on the ADHD or the depression. I chose the ADHD because I’ve had this forever. I’ve read stupid amounts of the literature so I feel competent in talking about it. Maybe I should make the harder choice and work through the depression stuff with her if I can manage to articulate that stuff. Don’t know, I’ll talk to her about it. At any rate, nice to have some help, right?

For now, my doctor’s office is opening soon and I can call him and let him know that we need a new plan. Fingers crossed.

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