Looking forward
I have less than a month to decide to move in with my bf or not.
On one hand, wow. What a perfect situation. Our shenanigans can continue on a daily basis, plus I won’t be paying $950 for an apartment I rarely see anyway. He lives in a way better neighborhood, it would be great for my mental state to not live by myself and it would be financially beneficial to us both. And of course there’s that hugely important part of we’re good together and were in love.
But.
I’ve never moved in with anyone before. Someone else has always moved in with me. Its always been MY stuff, MY decisions. This is a real relationship, with a real man.
A real man who has a very real 9 year old girl. I’ve never lived with a kid before. I never even had younger siblings. Hell, my older brother was 7 years older than me so he left home before I could really get to know him.
I think my biggest concern is yeah, the kid but also my aforementioned mental state. I’ve only been medicated five months after a severe mental break almost a year ago. I’m still getting used to being medicated. I don’t like it one bit but the smorgasbord of pills really do help. I feel like I’m boring as hell but my moods are manageable, save for usually once a month I turn into a sniveling wreck for some undetermined reason.
Which brings me back to a plethora of WHAT IFs that are crippling. It’s scary!
However, to be honest to myself, I have subconciously decided to move in with him. He has experience dealing with bipolar disorders, I’ll have my cats with me and they help tremendously. Furthermore, a kid is just a kid man, I’m a teacher. I get along well with kids and she seems to really like me.
My bf makes life fun again while challenging me to be a better person and is right there with me as I work to overcome the obstacles in my way.
Hey. Did you know life could be fun?
In some ways it feels like my life is just starting.
-INMATE-
Call me old-fashioned, but why not marriage? If things don’t work out, you will have lost your apartment and could be out on your ear with no place to go. The “m” word might reveal if he’s committed or not…😉
Warning Comment
My boyfriend will likely be moving in this summer. We met 3 months after my soon-to-be-ex-husband of 10+ years moved out. The virus closed courts and has delayed our divorce, and by boyfriend and I will have been dating for over a year. I have a 5-year-old daughter, and my boyfriend doesn’t have his own kids, and we’ve had some serious conversations about what life will look like when he becomes part of my daughter’s life (they haven’t met yet).
My ex-husband and I didn’t live together before we got married, and sometimes I wonder if we could have saved ourselves years and lots of heartache if we had had lived together even just a short while before we got married.
If you love this man and feel confident in your future with him, his daughter is part of that future. If you have any hesitation at all, especially considering your relatively recent breakdown and medication adjustments, listen to your gut. Only you will know what’s right for you, but maybe also share these candid concerns with your boyfriend and get his thoughts, too. Good luck!
Warning Comment