Eurovision Semi final number 1

Its that time of year again, where the whole of europe gets together to bicker and whine and generally have a great time loving one another and threatening to go to war and or not come out to play next year, because its too expensive. (Although its all paid for by the BBC and Sweden anyway)

My lovely horse?

Its the Eurovison song contest! Well. Its the FIRST semi final later today. why 2 semi finals? This year there are 42 countries entered. If all 42 countries displayed there wares on the same night the broadcast would be about 9 hours long. So they break it up a bit.

Waterloo!

..Is a lovely train station serving the south and south west London suberbs and home counties, but thats another story. The Voting system has been drastically overhauled this year too. The Semi’s have been jigged about so there is a rough East/west Split to try to stymie any block voting. and in the final, they have decided to try to stop ridiculous voting. Y’know, countries voting for songs which are frankly rubbish beyond belief, but some how manage to make it into the top 5.
That’s right, Juries are back!

Flying the Flag.

Some people say that its all to do with Bloc voting, which I personally dont think exists, but thats a rant for another day. But yes, Juries. Essentially Half the votes cast per country will come from a team of industry experts and musicians who will judge songs on their merit as opposed to “nationalistic fervour” The other half will come from the Televotes. Or to put it another way, Strictly Come Dancing(UK) style.

NOT Strictly Come Dancing Taiwan. The voting system in that is so weird as to be indecipherable, and I still haven’t worked out the Team/couple arrangements yet. There dont seem to be any Pro dancers, Except that bloke that won it last year anyway, and looks set to win it again this year. surely thats not allowed?

“Missä miehet ratsastaa”

Top 5 Favorites for this year?
Turkey – Hadise – Düm Tek Tek
Sweden – Malena Ernman – La Voix
Finland – Waldos People – Lose Control
Ukraine – Svetlana Loboda – Anti Crisis Girl
Armenia – Inga & Anush – Jan Jan

Wild card goes to France – Patricia Kass – “Et s’il fallait le faire”

No Dream impossible

And to reach that conclusion I actually did sit down and listen to all 42 songs in one hit. yeek. Of course, thats not the way it works, so who is in the first semi?

Montenegro
“Just Get out of my life”
Europop pap, based on the “Gimme Gimme Gimme riff”
Gimmick – Pink tights & Hand cuffs

Czech Republic
“Aven Romale”
Odd Folk Rap
Gimmick – Borat Style Super hero and sequins

Belgium
“Copycat”
Full on 1950’s doo-wop Elvis impersonator, Hair, Blue suede, Gold Lame
Gimmick – Shakin’ Stevens

Belarus
“Eyes that never lie”
90’s Power Ballad
Gimmick – 80’s Power hair (Pat sharps’ Older less hip brother)

Sweden
“La Voix”
Power pop Opera Classical crossover, with enough voltage to pummel your speakers into tiny bits of confetti! enormous voice. kick ass all round.
Gimmick – Faces on a stick

Armenia
“Jan Jan”
Power ethno folk dance bollywood extravaganza – Properly nuts and mixed up and VERY VERY catchy. Bangin’
Gimmick – Furry hats

Andorra
“Get a Life”
Smiley pop – Emma Bunton esque plinky ploppy pop by Dance Dance Revolution veteran, non offensive 90’s music.
Gimmick – Red Hair

Switzerland
“The Highest Heights”
U2/snowpatrol inspired indie rock from a swiss supergroup of floppy haired americanesque pro’s. Most likely to be heard during an episode of “one Treehill” or in the background of “smallville”
Gimmick – Floppy greasy hair, general skinnyness & facial hair

Turkey
“Düm Tek Tek”
Ripping Minx Diva tunage – Think Shakira, Think Sertab – Every way that I am, Think Holly Valance – Kiss Kiss, Latino-Greco-Turkish smash and grab. Tightly produced very commercial and sung by a belgian.
Gimmick – Gold Foil and belly dancing

Israel
“There must be another way”
Standard Ballad – Insipid, boring and very out of place anti-war-lets-just-be-friends-or-something song.
Gimmick – Boringness

Bulgaria
“Illusion”
Techno-Opera – quite suprising soprano operatic dance track reminds me of Fine Young Cannibals, but with more swords and sandals.
Gimmick – The BeeGees

Iceland
“Is It True”
Pop Ballad – Taylor Swiftesque mildly country sung by a blonde. Doesn’t hold the interest for long. Good voice mind.
Gimmick – Blondeness

FYR Macedonia
“Something That Will Remain”
Light Euro Rock – Mop haired twins politely rock out while trying to look older and more slash like while bouncing around looking.. Polite
Gimmick – Being Polite and BIG hair.

Romania
“Balkan Girls”
Pop – Invoking the twin pillars of PINK and Fergie with a smattering of Pussycatdolls. mixed with a bit of trumpet.. and Gin, tonic & Lime.. Lets get the eastern european party started! Catchy!
Gimmick – Costume changes, Waggling arms and bottoms.

Finland
“Lose Control”
EURO DANCE – Brilliant slice of commercial eurodance showing Basshunter and scooter how its done, Soaring female vocals mix with punchy rap over intense dance beats. Finland does it again!!! VOTE FINLAND!!! Also has the best video out of any country this year. Superb.
Gimmick – Brilliance

Portugal
“Todas As Ruas Do Amor”
Hippy Song – Deathcab for a cutie-esque hippy band
Gimmick – Hippys.

Malta
“What If We?”
Power Ballad – The lady can sing!
Gimmick – Being able to sing.

Bosnia – Herzegovina
“Bistra Voda”
Euro-Coldplay – Chris martin would be proud, either that or calling his lawyers and requesting a restraining order. Militaryesque themes.
Gimmick – Uniforms and marching

20.00 hrs BST – 21.00 hrs CET – online worldwide streaming eurovision.tv
Coverage on BBC3 and Radio 2 in the UK.

Semi final 2 on Thursday
Grand Final on Saturday.