RRRRRRRRRR

Challenge received from obscenelesbian – 10 things that means something to me that start with the letter "R".  And by the way, this was significantly harder than I thought it would be!

If you want to play along, leave me a note and I’ll pass you a letter to play with!

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Respect – there are three different kinds of respect that all people should endeavor to show: respect towards your environment (either on a global or an immediate scale); respect towards others (doing unto others as you would have them do unto you); and respect towards self.  If everyone could accomplish this, the world would be a much happier place.

Recovery – a part of my life that comes and goes in cycles.  I’m currently at a very successful part of one cycle of recovery and hoping that the lessons I’ve learned this time around will stick – or at least some of them!

Restraint – an incredibly difficult skill that has taken me years – my entire life really – to get to the point it’s at now.  You think I’m unrestrained now?  I’ve just learned about sex, kink, and living my life the way I want to live it – in ways that will allow me to do so.  As a kid…  well, let’s just say that the words "personal space" and "boundaries" didn’t really mean much to me.  And while I may still occasionally run up against those same issues today at least now I’m aware of it and do my best to respect people, show some restraint, and apologize when I’ve gone too far.

Restraints – part of my growing reputation in the local queer community.  I realized recently how many people have commented on the fact that the first time they had sex with me (or the only time, in some cases), the first thing I would do is tie them up.  Rope, leather cuffs, psychological bondage ("if you fucking move, I walk out")… what can I say, it adds a certain element of control and domination that I really enjoy.  I find it amusing that word is slowly leaking out in certain circles that this is a fairly standard part of hooking up with me.

Responsibility – a concept that’s taken me some time to mould into a shape I can work with.  I take responsibility for my actions, whether I agree with what I’ve done or not, even when the consequences aren’t to my liking.  I think more people need to take responsibility for who we are as human beings, and that we affect each other’s lives and the life our planet – and that we’re killing each other as well as our home.

Restrictions – something I refuse to have placed on me by others – if placed on me, placed on me by myself.

Rush – as in, "of adrenaline", one of my favourite things.  Also available in endorphin and serotonin!  Mmmm… brain chemicals!

"Refresh" – the button I push over and over again on the same sites all day at work… and usually even when I’m not at work.  I really usually only go to 5-10 sites and don’t really go much beyond that, which is kinda sad considering the amount of information available to me on the net.  So, speaking of which: anyone got any sites they’d recommend I check out while working at an office for the rest of the month?

Resistance – something I need to get over.  I need to stop resisting certain things: following my instincts; materialism, because resisting it results in me not achieving financial success; having quiet times of inactivity – inactivity is a time to pause, to contemplate, and to relax, not the terrifying death of my personality as I’ve always feared it would be.

Relax – what I still need to practice (ooooh – lots of practice!) while receiving sex.  I’m usually tense out of an inability to (for whatever reason) be comfortable with my partner or with the act that we’re getting up to, or because I’m so focused on making myself orgasm that all my muscles are clenched up in the effort – resulting in my being unable to achieve orgasm!  Very frustrating…