Full Moon And I’m Feeling It

Well, it’s a combo of the full moon (which is gorgeous, by the way), the fact that I’m probably pms-ing, and the bad news I got today.

The bad news is business stuff with the dyke march, and it’s not that major, but I’m still choked about it.  I kinda fucked up on getting some listings out because I didn’t follow up, and our events weren’t listed in the papers… Again.  After I tried twice.  Fuckin’ hell man.  I fuckin’ tried.  I could’ve done more, true, but at least I did what I had set out to do initially.  They’re the free papers, so it’s not like it cost us any money or anything, but I don’t know why our listings didn’t get in – they did before, but for some reason we didn’t get our stuff in this time.  I’m going to call them to find out what happened.

But I’m still getting called on it, and I don’t know what I’m going to say.  I’m kinda choked that I’m getting called on it, to be honest.  Fuck.  I can either get really defensive and look like a bitch, or I can admit it was my fault (which it wasn’t, really) and look like an ass.  I guess I could just try to stay calm and rational and just explain what happened… but that’s going to be hard, because I’m upset about it.  *breathe*  Okay, acting time.

My mom gave me shit for smoking weed in the house because she could smell it when she woke up for work the other morning..  She was really upset, and she basically said she didn’t want that garbage in the house.  I smoked up on the way home instead.  Now I’m eating pizza and candy.

After she gave me shit I told her my news about moving out, and that didn’t go too badly, considering how it could have gone.  She did make me feel like shit though.  She called me unreliable and said that she wouldn’t rely on me again.  Which is true… but still hurts.  It hurts to have your own family tell you that you’re unreliable.

I totally felt lacking in confidence all day today, and I’m not sure where that came from but it was very unlike me.  I think that’s the pms-ing at play there.  I was all upset about minor stuff today.  Well… all kinds of stuff, really.

Moving back in with family was a very bad idea.