Lesbian Advisory: First-hand Safe Sex Story

Okay, well to begin with I’ll give the good news, because I like good news, and it takes less time to explain.

I finally had sex with the hottie I’d been pursuing for the last month or so!  FUCK YEAH!!!  Damn, that woman’s fine… Mmm, mmm, mmm…  She’s the one who’s been teaching me about safe sex (well, bringing it up and discussing it with me), and for anyone who thinks that safe sex is less sexy, and that it’s not as fun – you’re full of shit.  Absolutely full of it.  It was some of the best sex I’ve ever had, and while the dental dams didn’t get put to use, due to time constraints not lack of safe sex, the gloves (and lube) most certainly did!  Quite enjoyable.

And then now I’ve got the bad news, which is also my educational story for the year.  Yes, I shit you not, it’s that educational.

To begin with, I’ll give some background to the story… Over a year and a half ago, I was diagnosed with herpes.  The only reason I was diagnosed with it was because I had an outbreak.  At the time I was seeing two people, one male and one female, and I asked a lot of questions to get as much information as I could on the subject, so that I could deal with it appropriately.  I was told that:
* I could have caught it from any partner I’ve ever had – just because you catch it doesn’t mean you get an outbreak right away.
* It’s possible to live your entire life with no symptoms, and that there are people who have it who aren’t even aware of it.  Some people are less fortunate, but so far I’ve mostly been fortunate.
* It’s not contagious unless you have an outbreak.

I just learned two days ago that the last fact I was told is untrue – you can be a carrier of herpes, never experience any symptoms, and still pass it on to others.  I looked up some facts online after I learned this, and discovered that even with no symptoms, herpes can be transmitted 1-6% of the time during unprotected sex, depending on the person, etc, etc, etc.

Here’s where the lesson comes in…

Because I’ve been asymptomatic for over a year and a half, and because the nurse at the time told me that it wasn’t contagious, I have never told any of my partners (except for my ex) that I had herpes.  Until Wednesday, when I told one of my current partners, who I’ve been having unsafe sex with, and she totally flipped out on me and educated me… which is unfortunate that it happened so late, because now she might have herpes too.  She’s getting checked now.

I spent most of yesterday feeling like shit, because all I could think about was how my ignorance about the situation may have made other people sick.  I have had unprotected sex with 3 women over the last few months, and I’ve had at least 4 guys eat my pussy.  All of these people might now have herpes and not know it.  None of them have contacted me, so I’m assuming none of them had outbreaks right away.  But that’s 7 people now who are out there, possibly infected, and it’s my fault, and, knowing these people, they have gone on to have unprotected sex with additional people who may also be infected now.

Not only that, but I was with my girlfriend for almost two years, and we didn’t have protected sex… Ever.  So it’s pretty much a given that she has herpes now too, which sucks because we tried to be really careful to make sure she didn’t get it.

The chick I was talking to, the one I’m currently seeing, who flipped out on me for not telling her I had herpes, but who wasn’t "into" safe sex, is really upset with the whole situation.  Crying and freaking out upset.  Which is odd, because I feel her pain, and I understand why she’s so upset, but it’s like (and this is a bit harsh, so let’s hope that there’s no chance in hell that she ever reads this): okay, first of all, you were the one who was making fun of me for wanting to have safe sex, you were the one who was bashing it, and now you might have caught something and you’re freaking out…?  I actually do have the freakin’ disease, I’ve been living with it for who knows how long, and at least you have someone you can blame – I don’t even know where mine came from!  While I can understand why she’s upset, I have very little sympathy.  (have I mentioned before that I’m a bitch?  yeah, here’s an example of why)

So, to all the lesbians out there who don’t like the idea of gloves and dental dams, because it’s "less fun" or "less sexy", how are you feeling about it now?  Personally, if I was still uninfected, I would think it would be sexier to have safe sex and stay clean rather than go out and have reckless sex and get sick.

I feel like shit for potentially exposing so many people to such a shitty disease.  Herpes isn’t fun, and it sucks to be sick with anything, never mind a disease that there’s no cure for.

All I have to say about the entire situation at this point is that from now on, for the sake of my partners, it’s "no glove, no love".  And if anyone argues with me and says that it’s not sexy to use gloves and dental dams, I’ll just smile and say "So it would be hotter to catch herpes?" and we’ll see what their reaction is.