01/17/2014

it’s three in the morning and we’re awake laughing hysterically at our antics. we joke a little, you curl your body around mine and we’re back to sleep for a few hours before you put on your adult face and clothes and go to work.

i listen to the way you breathe on the nights i can’t sleep, i am overwhelmed with a sense of calm when i’m around you, i know you will give me boundaries. i am falling for you and i didn’t think i would but as i open up to you and you are so warm and kind to me, i can’t help it. when you load up your canoe, pick up a pack of cider for me, drive us out of town, paddle us around a lake all day while i read and look for turtles, i can’t help it.

i can’t forget about the compliments. i can’t forget about the camping trips. i can’t forget about the hammock on the porch that looks out to the downtown skyline.

i’m reaching a point over these last couple days that i can’t imagine not having the few days we share throughout the week. i crave spending time with you because i know it will be relaxing and good. i want to be better for you. i want to run and eat healthier and look good. i want to go to yoga and see a counselor because i want to be clear and stable for you. i don’t know if i’ve ever felt that way about anyone other than myself.

you’re opening up sexually and it’s actually changing our sex life tremendously. last night you told me you felt like i’d never judge you and i won’t.

we are getting somewhere and if i think about the way i sat on this for the last three months and refused to open up and commit to you, i think it’s the best decision i made. i think it’s too easy to fall sometimes and i respect myself enough now to take it slow. i want to take it slow for myself.

but you are an incredible person to fall into. i am smitten.