08/19/2012

i read a few entries from back in the day and i wonder how much i’ve actually grown. i like to think i’ve grown emotionally and i’ve changed physically in some ways, but in the ways of tangible things, i’m not so sure. i’ve jumped states, made friends, worked crazy jobs; i don’t have a degree, i’m not any closer than i was two years ago.

i still don’t want to grow up, but the fact of the matter is i’m growing up.

mom and chris had a serious talk with me about school on friday. i can finish up through csu online in about a year and a half. it works with my schedule, but it’s going to require a $30,000 loan or so to cover everything. i could finish school here, but i’d be starting with like…twelve credits. it’d be a lot less expensive and more time consuming, plus i’d be tied to san antonio for the forseeable future.

i think i’m going to suck it up and apply for the loan and allow myself to stop losing sleep over scary things like retirement and insurance.

i can’t run away from responsibility forever. i owe it to myself, even if i love waiting tables and i’m good at it, to finish school and open more opportunities.