looking back

its always so weird to go back, like, 3-4 years ago and just start reading my entries in here. so much has changed.

i decided to read about everything that happened with Joe, and it was just strange. its weird to remember how much i hurt myself in that time period, and how much things went from completely chaotic to perfect.

Chris and I were a completely unexpected thing, and its so weird to think of how that works so often.

i know there are times when i miss Joe, and Gina. i do miss her a lot sometimes. we never sat down and became best friends, but she was kewl. i always imagined having a sister-in-law like her. not one thats, like, 14 years older then me and slightly…… weird?

*shrug*

and upon reading old entires, i also know how much i totally and absolutely miss my Mana. i mean, we used to talk about EVERYTHING and do EVERYTHING together. *grumbles* stupid stevens point being so far away…….

if i had the chance id love to visit, but i never get the time off of work without asking and planning for it. and everythings changed so much that it just sucks.

but i find it funny, i can fall into talking with her without trying, like everytime i see her…. but whenever Nicole or someone else that i knew comes along, theres always awkward silences and stuffs.

so anyway. enough depressing talk about the old days.

back at germantown today, total suckage. i really REALLY dread going there.

every damn time.

i keep thinking about school. i dont anticipate going back in the next year, but im trying to aim for the next 5.

and i cant decide anymore about what to do.

i mean, ive pretty much ruled out pharmacy as much as i would love and cherish it. but chris would have to be making, like, $50k a year, cuz i am SO BAD at math, that i would definitely need a tutor or study group or something because in order to get into pharmacy school you need, like, a 3.8 and i CANNOT do that with math classes. that is why i sat steadily at like, 3.4-3.6

math. blows.

SOOOOOOOO

ive been really heavily leaning now on going back to my original intent for a psychology degree and being a child/adolescent therapist. i mean, i know that can really mess with your head because of abuse cases and depressed 10 year olds and things like that, but i love the idea of helping children….

which is why the idea of child care has recently entered my head.

or nursing. and like, a nurse probably specializing with babies and all that.

*shrug*

i guess we shall see. but ill take any advice anyone wants to throw at me.

ooooooooooooohhhhhhhhh

so upon looking at earlier entries too…. i really need to go back and figure out how to make the text move again. cuz ive totally blanked, and i know most of it, but…. yeah. that was always fun to do.

okay, going to read for an hour before the NCIS season premiere.

laterz