I Be Married!

If someone would have told 20 year-old me that I’d be happily married to a wonderful man who I feel worthy of I would have cynically laughed in their face. Happiness seemed to be a foreign concept to me back then even though most of my problems were of my own making. How glad I am that I just kept swimming!

I was so upset and felt so betrayed by God back then. Despite my daily pleas for someone to love me who I could love back, my desires seemed to fall on deaf ears when it came to God. Little did I know that instead of telling me "No," he was telling me "Not yet."

The rehearsal dinner, wedding, and reception went very well! I only felt slightly queasy after the ceremony when we were taking pictures. I had been standing around in a heavy dress for over an hour and started to feel a little warm and lightheaded, but that passed quickly. Then again at the reception when we got our food–I didn’t get much on my plate because of how I was feeling, but when everyone else settled down with their food I was able to eat about half of my meal (baked chicken, baked potatoes, and green beans).

It was a quiet and calm morning. We were able to sleep in after having been up late decorating the reception hall. We exchanged gifts. Bobby got me a tablet accompanied by a note asking for someone to adopt it and play games and watch movies on it. I gave Bobby a set of tools he had put on our registry but no one had purchased them.

We decided not to see each other before the wedding after all. There had been some discussion about doing a "first-look" session so we could get most of the pictures out of the way beforehand. At the last minute we chose to have it be a surprise. So I went to get my hair and makeup done with Heather while Bobby met up with some friends who came in from out of state. Our appointments took much longer than anticipated, so we had to rush back to the house to grab our dresses from the guest bedroom. I texted Bobby to let him know what we were coming by and if he was still home he’d either have to hide so he wouldn’t see me, or I’d send Heather in for my dress. When we got back to the house my Grand Am was gone and so was Bobby. Good. That meant he was at the church already. As we drove to the church it started to sprinkle.

When we got to the church (running about 15-20 minutes later than we had intended) Bobby wasn’t there. His dad and brother were there and dressed already but claimed they hadn’t heard from Bobby. I began to get worried. I was ushered back to a classroom at the back of the church to get ready. Every visitor that came in I asked where Bobby was and no one seemed to know. It was getting late and I was getting worried. Finally when my mom came in she said he was there and "something about the car" so I relaxed. He must have forgotten to wash the Grand Am in all the excitement and rushed out to the car wash.

Right before the wedding started the clouds literally parted and the sun came out. My stepdad walked me down the aisle to an instrumental version of Train’s "Marry Me" and Bobby was there smiling at the altar. As soon as the pastor started reading our vows I began to cry out of only my left eye and my veil stuck to my face. I kept dabbing at my eye trying not to smudge my makeup. After we were pronounced husband and wife we walked back down the aisle to an instrumental version of Journey’s "Don’t Stop Believing" and then came back to release everyone from their pews.

Once everyone was outside we made our grand exit. We walked outside and everyone blew bubbles at us when Bobby leaned over to me and said "I have one more surprise for you…" I noticed everyone was looking to my right so I followed their gaze and saw a brand new 2012 Forester 2.5XT with a big bow on it. He had gotten me the car I had been wanting for over a year! He was later than he expected to the wedding because he had forgotten what time the dealership closed and had to rush over to pick up the car.

The reception went well; everyone seemed to have a good time. It all went by so quickly though! We spent a year planning the wedding and it was over in a flash.  Sometimes it’s hard to believe it’s over. All that time I imagined in my head what it would look like, but that picture was unclear and always changing. Now I have the memories of exactly what it looked like and how I felt. Now I have a husband and sometimes I wonder if maybe it’s a dream and I’m going to wake up and find that none of it ever happened–that Bobby was just what I pictured to be the perfect soul mate for me and didn’t actually exist.

I’m just so happy…

And now, some pictures!