There’s a Chance I’ve Fallen Quite Hard Over You

Those are lyrics from Landon Pigg’s "Falling in Love in a Coffee Shop".  I think I’ll write down the titles of the songs I’m listening to as I write this entry.  I do that sometimes…

"Always On Your Side" by Sheryl Crow & Sting

I realize it has been far too long since I updated this diary, but I guess that’s because I’ve been afraid that everything I’ve wanted to write has been a dream that I’ll somehow wake up from the moment I press the "Save" button.

I also worry that the other shoe will drop from out of nowhere and hit me squarely in the heart. If there is one thing that my previous relationship taught me, it’s that you can be deleriously happy in love with someone and plan a future with them and they can suddenly decide to destroy it all for selfish inane reasons. I’m quite cynical about my prior posts where I discussed how perfect things seemed to be and now I have to look back and them with anger and pain instead of nostalgia and love.

"Love is Not a Fight" by Warren Barfield from the "Fireproof" soundtrack.

That being said, I am happy right now. Bobby and I have been spending a lot of time together lately and every time I see him I enjoy the time we spend together. I look forward to seeing him, and I miss him when we’re apart. I’ve met his friends and part of his family. His mother is getting married next month and I’m going to be his date to the wedding. We’re even planning a trip to Cedar Point at the end of the summer. We’re taking things at a reasonable pace, which is fine with me as long as it keeps our relationship intact.

"Turn Off the Lights" by Nelly Furtado.

I’ve decided that I do love him, but I’m afraid to say it. Bobby hasn’t had many relationships and I don’t believe he’s ever had a serious relationship, so I don’t want to freak him out. Sometimes we just lay together and hold each other and I can just feel those words at the tip of my tongue. I’m not quite sure how to bring up the topic of expressing love verbally without making it a big deal. If he hasn’t decided the same about me I don’t want him to feel pressured.

"Nothing Compares to U" by Sinead O’Connor.

I’m hoping that he’ll go ahead and say it for me soon, but I might just have to be the one who brings it up. I just don’t want to do anything that sabotages this relationship because I feel so happy with him.

Quite honestly, nothing compares to him and the happiness he brings me. 🙂

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July 14, 2009

Aww, I’m so glad you found someone who makes you feel happy. 🙂 You deserve it, especially after what you’ve been through. Good luck with Bobby!