Hobbes or Houdini?

I’d just like to begin this blog with a list…lists are fun.

1 bag of gummy bears
2 issues of Entertainment Weekly
1 bag of paper clips stolen from work
4 napkins
4 Little Debbie snack cakes
2 mints from Abuelo’s
4 shoes
2 rollerblades

You may be thinking "What a strange list of random items. What could these items possibly have in common?" Well, blog people, this is a list of things that were either completely or partially eaten by my puppy when he somehow got out of his cage while I was at a softball game.

After losing a softball game (I got on base and made a great catch, so I was okay with the loss) and after enjoying a few minutes of mocking "All My Children" with Carly and Jeanne next door, I entered my condo to be greeted by my puppy…and the overpowering stench of dog diahrrhea (I just HAD to try wet food to fatten him up), and a complete and utter mess! Someone he got out of his cage and went nuts chewing up and destroying the clutter I delayed cleaning up this afternoon.

I immediately put him outside after yelling at him. He seems very sensitive to being called a "BAD DOG!" so I used that phrase many times. I then commenced filling a trashbag with the remains of my coffee table clutter and two large piles of dog diarrhea. After I was done cleaning I allowed Hobbes back in and he looked absolutely terrified. I allowed him to feel guilty for a few minutes by glaring at him and not petting him, but then I knelt down and hugged him to let him know that I didn’t absolutely hate him. I locked Hobbes in his cage, wedged it under the countertop so he cannot possibly get out, took a shower, and now I’m sitting here trying to get the condo to air out. 3 candles, incense, a ceiling fan, and open windows do not seem to be helping.

Moral of the story: clutter is bad.