not one of them

Well Saterday was not of my world.  Those people are not some I would invite to my home.  But at least I was in good company with the friends I invited.  My friend the birthday boy was too drunk and resorted to our old classifications of me the nerd and him the RUDE jock. 
My therapist said that it is actually GOOD that the situation triggered flashbacks of my adolescents and the constant bullying I had to deal with.  Because this time I can make a choice and my situation is not the same, I am not trapped. 
If i let myself think about it, it is kind of funny.  I am pretty! Very attractive at that, to the point where my friends tell me that my eyes get my in trouble because they look inviting just naturally (i am not inviting and as my friends get to know me they realize this)
SO!!!
it is funny that my friend resorted to old games….drunk or not!
In honor of my graditude for being an ugly duckling and not a superficial and shallow beauty….
Saterday made me feel lower again.  His routine is perfected I know.  It is not the first time a conffident jerk takes out his frustration in trying to make my smile turn around.
I heard this song though…..THE MR T EXPERIENCE
its called

THANK YOU (FOR NOT BEING ONE OF THEM)
You’re so swell
oh oh oh
and I can tell
oh oh oh
you love me, amazingly, and I love you as well.
Day by day,
oh oh oh
come what may,
you don’t hesitate to exaggerate and say that it’s okay.
Everybody else is trying to push me around
kicking me and picking on me, running me down,
knocking off my glasses and stomping them into the ground.
When they’ve been doing it again,
I’ve got to thank you for not being one of them.
As it stands,
oh oh oh
there’s still a chance
oh oh oh
you’ll hear me calling as I’m crawling from the garbage cans.
The kids are having fun,
oh oh oh
proud of what they’ve done.
oh oh oh
Later that night we hold each other tight and plot their destruction.
Hey hey faggot hey cry baby cry I hate them all and I want them to die
 you whisper to me sweet techniques we could murder them by.
When they’ve been doing it again,
I’ve got to thank you for never joining in.
Thank you for not being one of them.
Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh.