DREAMS

 so, i have HUGE dreams. i once heard someone say that if you have larger than life dreams, they come from God, because He is the only one who can make them come true. well, i dream of being a social mogul. all of my dreams involve helping Society and others. i would share, but i am very protective of my dreams, because i’m afraid if someone else were to take them they would use them for the wrong reason. see, i don’t do anything for money. i mean, money is sometimes a compensatory result, but its not my goal. so if anyone else were to use my ideas, i would want them to have the same goal and purpose as me; to simply help others. 

so, last night, i dreamt of my dream. like the first step in making it all come true. now i’m not sure what to do with this dream. my initial instinct was to do what i always do; get a notebook and begin planning. i am a BIG planner and i write a lot and go over the plan several times. i’ve been planning this dream however for over 7 years. i know the plans aren’t perfect or ready, which is why i’m in no rush. but that dream was so detailed and deliberate. it seems to me like it was almost a step by step example of how to get the first leg off of the total vision. 

i envy people who follow their dreams. i mean those people who never try anything that doesn’t help them reach their dream. or if they do, it always gets pushed to the back burner for their dream. as a kid i gave up on my dreams to be the responsible child. to take care of my family. i think thats when i began my journey down the road of "superman", always trying to help/save and be there for others; i’ve made so many decisions for that reason. always forgoing my own happiness and future.

i know i said that in 2014 i would do things for me and my happiness finally, but is this it? i’ve neglected myself for soo long that now i’m too scared to do anything and doubtful of everything that may seem like its right or for me. so, fingers crossed i figure it out.