frustrations (randomness)

this past weekend (march 23-25) has been full of frustrations. i dunno even kno where to begin and since i cant recall days i’ll just list. (i’m starting to fall in love with this listing thing)

1. i have paper due on Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein due, i havn;t read much of the book (i’m on chapter 3 of 24)
2. the paper has to be written from the "Woman Question" from the Victorian/Romantic era
3. i started a new job and my bady is having a tough tmie adjusting, so i’m not getting much sleep
4. i’m also not having time for myself or my quiet time or prayer time or my time with God and its really starting to effect me. I MUST FIND A WAY TO GIVE GOD BACK HIS TIME
5. i am horny as all get out and i’m tryin to stay away from all of that. (thats why i put it in small print)
6. different people i care about are going thru and wanna help them
7. females!!! (nuff said)
8. i dunno wat to do for the summer
9. my birthday is coming up and i’m tryin to make plans.
10. i cant get a dang video from youtube to show on here!!! (someone help me PLEASE!!!)
11. i dont have anyone i can talk to, open up to, or share with. i cant even seem to let it out in here. that wall is so thick
12. i cant stop thinking about my ex and her mother (who doesnt even really like me)
13. i cant focus or concentrate .
14. my roommate (nuff said)
15. my family seems to be slow and not comprehend things
16. love
17. finances
18. my self-worth, esteem, and image
19. my physical, mental, and spiritual health
20. my past, present, and future
    [you ever notice that the word present means; right now (this very moment) and gift. so does that mean that my right now is a gift?]

there is so much in my head, heart, and spirit. it wants to get out, but i cant do it. or should i say i wont do it.

sometimes i wish there was someone.

i think wat it all boils down to is the fact that i’m tired and not gettin enough sleep. the big thing is i’m not giving God his time like i use to, like i need to, like i’m suppose to.

nevertheless God is still good and God is still God. its in times like this that i truly have to pull on my faith. its in times like this when i wanna give up. when i wanna die or kill myself. when i feel like its all too much. like wats the point, that i have to TRUST God. TRUST that he is God, that he knows wat he’s doin, and that he cen and will take mt thru this. i had wrote an entry earlier about all of that, but i lost it and i couldnt upload the video. but i’ll do it again once i figure out how to post a video. ya’ll be keep. i’m prayin for each of you, love you

until next time…

p.s. i dunno why, but here is a list of artist and songs to look into, for encouragement, strength, or for pure enjoyment…

1. Fred hammond
2. Tonex
3. Kim Burrell
4. "Thank you lord"
5. "Because he lives"
6. "I need you now"
7. Smokie Norful
8. Karen Clark-Sheard