Relationships, Love, and More

well, i’m taking speech and we have to do an informative speech. i couldnt find a topic, because i always wanted to put my opinion in there and that made it a persuasive speeh. even if i was informing my audience about my feelings, it doesnt count. anyway, since i couldnt find a topic i figured i’d teach. i’ve always wanted to get into origami, so i picked it. OMG!!! wat was i thinking? this is so much harder than i thought. how i can teach it if i cant even do it? Origami is so beautiful tho. the books the library has are all at least 40 or ore years old, which doesnt help at all.

this has been "one of those weeks" i guess you could say. it started off so great, then all of a sudden out of nowhere. i feel like giving up and not doing anything. i would say i was depressed, but there was no need for me to be. i dunno what happened or where it came from. i just woke up and there it was all on me. i didnt go to class all week, which sucks since my school has an attendance and absence policy. but hopefully i can work it all out. if not then so be it. i mean, wat can i do. i made the decison not to go, so i have to deal with watever happens as a result of my decision. more people need to understand that and take more responsibility and stop pointing a finger. you cant blame no one or nothing, because you make the choices and decisions. even as a child, you may not hav much control, but the one thing you do control is you and how you react, respond, and let things effect you.

 love

 i dont get it, why the hell is it so difficult. why do we want it? why do we feel as though we need it? females have always been a real burden for me. dont get me wrong people in general are my problem, because i love and care to much (so some say). but females make things complicated. they say they want a certain kinda guy and then when they find him, tthey make everything so hard for him. then they talk about "Mr. Right", most women dont even kno wat or who he is. they think they do, but they eally dont have a clue. Sorry, thse are general statements that could and do apply to both sexes. but since i love women, they the ones i talk about. Dang, why did God have to make women so beautiful and stuff? i love everything about women, i just dont understand why they have to make my life and liking or loving them so darn hard.

the most important things i need and want from any relationship (male/female) are…
1. Communication – a conversation is two sided. it envolves listening and responding. dont be scared to start conversation or ask questions especially if you truly wanna know the information. we can talk about anything you want. if not, then just say "we cant talk about that right now" or something
2. Honesty – Very important. i have learned that there is no need to lie about anything, either way no matter if you tell the truth or a lie its gonna cause problems. just make sure you ask the right question, someone once told me "its not wat you say or ask, but how you say and ask it", so choose your words carefully and be sure you want the answer before you ask the question. its so unfair to be honest and have to have people get mad at you over it.
3. Openess – This is the hard one. i struggle with it myself, but if we take our time and have the #1 &2 then this one will come in its own time. dont rush it.
4. Understanding – we both have to try to see things from the other persons point of view. (this is the one most women in my life struggle with) like the saying goes "lets agree to disagree", its ok not to agree or feel like i do, but dont knock me or beat me down for my thoughts, feelings, and beliefs.
5. Trust – i figure if any of the other areas are going to work you have to have a certain level of this to begin with. this is where most relationships begin to fail, when this is weak, lacking, or broken.

this is also why i say that we dont need labels to identify how i feel for you or the level of my commitment for you and your relationship. because if we are open, honest, have an understanding, and we communicate properly, and have that trust then we dont need a "boyfriend/girlfriend" label. those are things kids do, so others know who you "go with" or are "dating". but even if people dont know i should have enough respect for you and our relationship to let people know when they approach me or try something. if i cant do that, then maybe we dont have anything.  a "title" or "ring" is just an outward symbol to let others know. but nowadays they dont mean anything. so like i say if i’m not in your heart, then the title dont mean spit. because if i’m in your heart you wont let someone disrespect me, us, or wat we have, no matter if i’m there or not.

i kno some of you may not agree or watever, but i do ask that you be understanding and kno that i could not convey all of my feelings on here. its easier for me to talk about then to try and explain.