One Fine Day

I got up at 8am this morning, I was going to be ready to leave by 8, so I could be in Ephrata by 9, since Luke wasn’t sure when he’d get off, but that didn’t work so well!  I ended up getting into town about 9:45am, the book store I wanted to go to wasn’t open yet, so I drove to one end of town, and back, then I thought, oh, I’ll get an egg mcmuffin.  I ordered, then lectured myself about eating healthy and trying to lose weight.  The drive-thru was really slow, so by the time I got my food I’d talked myself out of wanting it!  ~L~  Then I went to Safeway to use their bathroom, and I kinda wandered around in there, talked myself out of being self-destructive yet again and avoided the lemon jelly doughnut!  While I was walking back out to my car, Luke called, so that worked out well! 

It was 10:30 when I got to Lukes, and he had to be back at work by 6, poor guy!  Not only that, but he had to get me to leave him alone long enough to sleep!  ~L~ At least I get to cuddle up next to him for a while!  We’re both looking forward to the day that we can sleep in together and just lounge around in bed all day!  So far, every night we’ve spent together, one of us has to work the next day or do something that we have to get up early for!  He should be done in a few days though, then at least I’ll get to talk to him and see him on a more regular basis! 

I can’t wait.  I mean I just saw him less than 6 hours ago, and I all ready miss him like crazy!   I suppose a large part of that is due to the fact that I haven’t really been able to talk to him.  I mean I talk to him when I’m there of course, but we don’t get into any good, deep conversation.  We will in a few days though, when he’s not working insane hours any more!  Right now, I just don’t bring up anything too deep because I know we don’t have the time to really talk about it, and he’s exhausted!  Like today, he asked how my doctor appointment went, and I told him the story about the wrist thing reading my blood pressure wrong, and I thought about telling him the story of the scale being at 250, and how that freaked me out, and well, I couldn’t bring myself to do it.  Not only because of the horrible number, but discussing weight loss with the man that loves you is always a little strange.  And again, the time constraint issue.

It’s interesting because Loser. wrote an entry today about telling her fiancee her actual weight, and it made me think how most of us are on here telling anyone who can use a computer how much we weigh, our struggles with weight loss, and all our emotional issues, but when it comes to talking about these things with the man you love, some of us tend to clam up.  I know I’m going to talk to Luke about it eventually, I mean we’re actually talking about moving in together, and I need him to be supportive.  Actually, I know he will be, I said something once about needing to walk more, (I got a cramp in my calf, and I never used to get those when I was walking regularly!) and he said no problem, we can walk together every night if you want to.  ~s~  (I’ve always imagined being able to go on a nice little after dinner stroll with my sweetie!)  You know, in an odd way, it is a good thing that he’s a little over weight too.  It really is easier to talk about weight loss issues with someone who knows where you’re coming from! 

I know too that part of my issue with talking to men about weight loss is that I worry that if he’s attracted to the plus sized me, he may not be attracted to the normal sized me.  Though honestly, I don’t feel like that will be an issue with Luke at all.  I think what I’m going to do is tell him that I want to lose weight, and just let him know the best ways to support me.  He likes that I’m constantly providing him with valuable information on what I like and how to handle me and various things.  ~L~ I come with an insturction manual!  (And Luke agress that it’s sad that I was just as up-front with Jake about everything, and he still managed to screw things up!)  Anyway, I’m so anxious to be able to spend more time with Luke and really talk to him again! 

Other than that, I managed to get one thing done today, I got the Gazelle out of my truck and into my room!  Yeah!  It was such a pain in the ass!!  ~L~ Seriously!  It folds for easy storage, but it does not stay folded for easy transport to your front door and through your house!  The base part kept spreading out, and the foot things wouldn’t stay up unless I held them, I basically had to hug the thing against me and side step it down the hall way!  The important part though is that it’s in my room!  Even better is that it’s not taking up too much space, and that I’ll actually be able to use it in here!  Woo!  Now maybe I should go to bed so I can get up in the morning and do my thing!