Like it’s just that easy…

All right, if you guys haven’t seen this video yet, check it out.  I don’t know how to post videos, so I’ll just post the link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yUTJQIBI1oA&eurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww%2Eopendiary%2Ecom%2Fentryview%2Easp%3Fauthorcode%3DD695810%26entry%3D10094

Now, I wouldn’t recommend it, but there are comments posted under it.  While most of them are very positive, there are a few that are down right dumb and mean.  The only reason I wouldn’t recommend reading them is because some of them are so negative and horrible, and who needs that kind of negative energy.  At the same time, I have a little rant of my own about some of the things that have been said. 

Some people seem to be over looking the positive message, and just summing it up as: You can’t lose weight, and even if you do, you’ll just gain it back, so why bother?  What she’s actually saying is that you can’t let your weight be an excuse, and at the core of it, I think she’s saying that if we just stop being so damn obssesed and worried about our weight and just have fun and live our lives, we’re going to naturally slim down.  I guess I’m just annoyed that anyone would this fabulous affirmation of self esteem and latch on to a couple sentances to turn the whole thing bass-ackwards. 

All right, so even I don’t think including that 90% to 95% of dieters gain it all back satistic was the best idea.  In reality, there’s no way they know every person that’s ever lost over 75 pounds.  They don’t know how these people lost the weight in the first place.  Reality is, if you change the way you eat and the way you exercise AND THE WAY YOU THINK, and make those changes a perminant part of how you live your life, you will succeede, and you will keep the weight off.  

I know if you look at me you may be thinking I’m not the best person to give this advice, but it still makes sense.  I’ve got two of the three down, now for the mental connection… which reminds me… Several of the comments I read included some variation of the idea "what’s the big deal, eat less, move more".  Yes, of course, why didn’t I think of that? Oh right, it’s not quite that easy.  Now this may be a harsh analogy, but let’s just say I’m talking about myself here, so no one else can be offended by it.  Think of me as a crack head.  I live for my next fix, and now I’m supposed to quit, BUT, I can still have a little crack IN MODERATION.  (This is all assumption because I have never done crack.)  Food has become an addiction, physically and mentally.  I need it to survive, so I can’t just stop eating, I can’t avoid food.  I have to keep eating, but I have to seperate myself some how from the mental and emotional connection.  So just like it’s really easy for me to say, duh, just stop smoking crack, it’s really easy for some skinny person to tell me, duh, just eat less and move more!  Simple, isn’t it?

I eat right, I just eat too much.  I know better, I really do, but some how, I can’t always get myself to stop at one serving, I can’t always turn down food simply because I’m not hungry.  There’s this mental thing going on that I have to get to the root of.   Even though I don’t eat so much that I’m gaining anything back, I’m still eating too much to allow myself to make any progress. 

So it’s time for me to do some hard work, and I don’t mean in the gym, though of course that’s part of it!  Mostly, I need to really focus on my eating, not so much what I eat, but why I eat, what I’m feeling when I eat.  Hum, that just made me realize something, I think I tend to shut down when I eat.  I don’t think about it, I just go numb.  Before, it was part of the "therapy" I ate to shove down feelings, because I wanted to be numb.  Now it’s become automatic, I eat, and I shut down, and I want to eat some more so I can keep myself numb.  See, two minutes into it and I’ve all ready got a huge issue pulled out!  Now, the real question is, how to deal with it.

I think I’m going to start paying more attention to what I’m feeling, starting with how hungry I feel, then focusing on reamining in the moment when I’m eating, keeping in mind how full I’m getting, enjoying my food and thinking of it as a way to nurish and sustain my body.  Remembering that it’s what keeps me ALIVE, it’s not a way to go numb. 

All right, that’s enough heavy stuff for one night!  In other news, I got a letter back from that guy!  He seems pretty nice, and the best part, at the end he was saying that he’s going to be changing his internet provider, so "If I dissappear for a few days, don’t think I’m not responding.  Only a dummy would fail to respond to a cute girl!"  Yeah, I like him all ready too! ~s~