A blind mother’s letter

Jays and I thought Joshua could automatically start going to Valley Achievement Center when we moved to California. Its an after school program where Joshua could receive more therapy in ABA setting. We applied in October of last year. Everything will be just wonderful once he can go there. Until all the paperwork goes thru and gets approved by the department, its a long wait and complicated. The VAC committee and the regional center will hold a meeting tomorrow, and I was asked to write a letter why Joshua needs to go to VAC soon. This is what I wrote:

To Whom It May Concern:

I am a blind mother of three children. Joshua is the oldest turning 5 in March, and there are three year old and 3 month old baby. Joshua is nonverbal and is not yet toilet trained. Joshua was diagnosed with autism 4 days before his third birthday. Ever since, our life revolved around Joshua. We searched and searched for help and support for our son in every ways, and we moved from city to city in Ohio. We learned that the education and resources were very limited for our son and we considered to move out of state if we had to. We had to pay his school tuitions out of our pocket to send Joshua to autism schools and had to break our savings. We felt that Joshua was running out of time and options. In March of 2011, we learned about VAC and the public education for autism in Bakersfield and were excited and were hopeful that one day we could move to Bakersfield for Joshua. Since then, we saved money so that we could move here. Last November, the dream came true. After a week that I gave birth, my husband and Joshua moved to Bakersfield understanding that Joshua could enroll quickly in school and more importantly for VAC. My two daughters and I moved here on Christmas Eve. We were waiting and waiting for the ok for Joshua to go to VAC every day. Joshua needs full supervision and I am doing that while taking care of 3 year old and 3 month old at home alone while my husband needs to work. Being blind and can not always tell what Joshua is doing just by hearing, I mostly have to physically be by Joshua to monitor him and usually while holding the baby. My husband has to stop by home few times every day to help me with Joshua and its affecting his job. Joshua often takes off his poopy diaper and throws temper tandrum. Joshua has chewing problem and constantly wants to chew on hard things. I can not let my three year old to have crayons because Joshua eats them. He chews on puzzles and other toys and wants to chew on baby wipes. I try to keep things out of his reach and Joshua is extremely persistent that he will cry for something if he wants them. He opens the fridgerator literally every 10 minutes and asks for juice. He asks for baby bottles and it is not easy to not have baby bottle at home because we have a baby needs them. We have all doors and the fridgerator chained, gated, and locked, but that will not keep Joshua from fully safe and he will pull my hair and push me or cry for a long time until he gets what he wants. He flooded the place at the upstairs and downstairs bathrooms and we chained the door. He drained 5 gallon water from the water cooler and we are trying to find out how to cover the botton. These are only few things that I am describing what is going on. Please know that I love my son dearly and I want the best for my son. Joshua is a sweet child and likes to give me hugs and kisses. I can love him as much as my other children, but I can not provide him with what he really needs; he needs structures and that kind of settings. I feel like I am making things worse for my son and every minute is tremendously important for him. Again, I do what I can as a mother to my son, but I can not give him what teachers and professionals can to help Joshua. I have to work in two weeks and I will feel greatly sad if I have to leave Joshua just with someone to baby-sit him. Please, help. Please, help us and Joshua by letting Joshua to attend VAC. We can only pray and hope for our son and do what we can, but we strongly believe that VAC can do more and help our son. Thank you.

Sincerely,

******

I really pray that they will say ok. I’m going to miss Joshua very much not able to see him until 5:30pm from morning, and I feel like I’m abandoning him. However, I have to let Joshua get everything he can, all the help and support that are available out there for him. Once Joshua walks out the door in the morning, he’s no longer in my care. I worry for his safety and well-being, but I can only pray and let God take care of him while he’s away from me.