Threats from Across the Country

I have a cousin who lived in Dayton Beach, Florida, who has since moved back to Michigan for some god only knows reason. His brother and I flew down there for Labor Day weekend and spent about 6 days. While down there I meet this female named Jessica. She told about her husband at home in Texas. Lets just say me her and her best friend spend a day and a half in her hotel room with lots of booze, drugs, a camera and a bunch of toys.

I guess she wasn’t smart enough to delete the evidence. I get a phone call today tell me he’s gonna fly here to I quote “Ram that camera and vibrator up my ass and beat me to a bloody shit stain” This is a first. Threatened from a cross the country. So now I’ve been getting texts from hell. I guess I should have deleted the pictures myself. Oppppppps. I guess he wants to give me wings and a halo. (I hope I’m going there) I guess I should block his number. I guess he should have paid her more attention and not be doing the missionary all the time. I guess next time I’m in Texas I’d better watch my back.

Life is a Bitch, then you marry one, then you DIE.