Must I Be in Pain to Not Be Like My Father

Once again the talk with ‘ A ‘ about not wanting me to move out but still want to see ‘ C ‘ and throws a fit if I wanna see ‘ J ‘ .  Since I can’t hit the bar to meet anyone new  (damn DUI) and my job is all males what does she expect me to do. Sure I had a relationship with ‘ J ‘ at one time. But me wanting to leave doesn’t mean it’s to be with her.

This is the problem with a ‘ open’ relationship. But I am not the one with feelings for someone else. I don’t wanna be like dear old dad and bail out on the kids either. This really is stupid argument to be having. ‘ A ‘ knows I still love her but I just hate him.

When I did leave for a sec she just balled and told me to come back. Even trying live separatly in the same house did not work either. She would just crawl in the bed with me or I’d get in the bed with her. Besides the ‘C’ situation we get alone very well for us to being so different. I guess it’s that opposites attract thing.

 So what is a person to do if we can’t even spent 24 hours apart. Plus ‘ J ‘ wants a full blown relationship. I just can’t give that to her. Maybe it’s just back to bar hopping but with no booze. It can be kinda fun in a place with a bunch of drunks. I could get my laugh on. Where’s a place where sober people hang ??  Damn life can be hard. I made this bed of broken glass and jagged nails so I guess I have to lie in it.

Life is a bitch, then you marry one, then you die.