My Top 10 HS Memories, Pt. 2
(continued from last entry)
6. Senior year, homecoming week was fun. The seniors had butted heads with the administration, as was always the case, but we got away with it, for the most part. One of the problems was that we scheduled our own dress up days not sanctioned by the school, the most famous of which was “Pimp and Ho Day.” On that day, I got dressed up in my best silk shirt, dress pants, corderoy suit jacket, gold chains, and cane, and I pimped as I have never pimped it since. It was awesome. The principals had caught wind of the plan and were sending people home in the hallways before they could even get to class. I went in a back exit, and made it to class, and class started, before one of the assistant principals found me and dragged me out of class. The best part was that after stopping my class to pull me out, SHE called ME a distraction. I had a big argument with her which I won, and concluded with her saying to me, “Are you going to go change or not?” I just turned and walked to the locker room to change. The dance was pretty fun too. I went with a fun group of people, and we had a good time, as I recall. High amusement. Homecoming games that year were a riot. We all made shirts that said, “Class of 1998: Inmate # ——” and wore them to the games. Good times. Single most dominating performance of bombardment I’ve ever seen.
7. Junior year, I was a guide at the local outdoor laboratory. So I spent lots of time in the spring and fall taking elementary school kids around the outdoor laboratory. It was awesome. Good times. Later on that same year, I was part of a physics fair at a local elementary school, and we did a presentation, my partner and I, on light refraction and prisms. Also good times. That year in German class, we did a production of, “Die Bremerstadt Musikanten” at yet a different elementary school. And I helped staff the elementary school track meet. Man was that a good time. I can’t even tell you. That whole year, I spent working with elementary school kids. It was a blast.
8. Spring of senior year, before track started, my track coach asked myself and a couple of friends, (AMDiscJockey and another guy) to go help out at a Special Olympics training session for coaches. So we get there, and there is this gorgeous woman who is there to be trained. To make a long story short, one of my coaches, who will remain nameless, in teaching this woman how to get a start out of the blocks, ended up standing behind this girl with one hand on her hip and the other on her backside, trying to manouver her, and pushing her out of the blocks. It was hilarious…you should have been there. On the unintentional comedy scale, this got an 12 out of 10. Priceless.
9. Junior and Senior year, I was a gym cadet. Senior year, there was this one loud, foul mouthed freshman in the class I cadeted for. One day, I went to class, and my teacher took me aside. “Nick, he said, I’d like you to take care of that cursing I hear in the locker room.” He led me out of the locker room office, and closed the door. I went to the kid, and asked him politely to stop the cursing and get dressed. He not so politely told me what I could do to myself. I grabbed him by the neck and tossed him against some lockers, holding him up off the ground. I asked him politely, what he said. Again, he made a reference to asexual reproduction. So I choked him until he agreed to stop. When I let him down, he ran to the gym office to report me. The teacher looked at him, looked at me and said, “I didn’t hear anything.” You’d have to know the gym teacher (Larry) for that to amuse you at all. But it amused the crap out of me. I’m not a bully. But I’m not going to take some freshman telling me to whatever myself.
10A. Junior year, I was in an AP Government class. It happened to be an election year, so as a class project, each AP Gov class (there were two) was a party, and we campaigned for president. I was selected to represent Al Gore, as vice presidential candidate. I had to go out and do stump speeches for all the voters (all the elementary school kids in town), and drum up support for the President, played by senior we affectionately referred to as Bubba, before he came out to give his speech. We prepared for this project for like a month. The day after the elections, the Wednesday after we destroyed the Republicans (we did even better than Clinton did nationally, in terms of delegates…we blew them out), we’re sitting in class, getting back to electoral strategy. My teacher asks Bubba, the guy who played President, when the next election was going to be. Bubba looks my teacher in the face and says, “You’d have to tell me when the last one was.” This, the day after the election. My teacher just flipped out. It was hilarious. Absolutely hilarious.
10B. Senior year, I went to Washington DC with the Washington:Closeup organization. I got to ride on the trains underneath the capital and stuff. It was a good time. A very good time. I’ll never forget those snooty chicks from North Chicago that thought they were better than everyone else. One of them asked what an election was. Amazing. At another instance, I get pulled up to give a demonstration, and the girl from the program who was doing the demonstration was good looking. Being who I am, I refused to look at her. Finally, she forced me to, and so I ended up looking from her feet to her head, and then when she was done talking, I looked back down. I get back to my seat, and the guys around me are all giving me high fives and calling me the man because I was checking her out right in front of everyone. In reality, all I wanted to do was not look at her at all. I was just trying to look at the floor. Good luck convincing anyone else of that. The whole trip was a riot. It’s the trip where I learned to love McCain and detest Kerry, just based on the way they walked around Capital Hill. I’m telling you, Kerry–the guy is the most stuck up person you’ll ever meet. Seriously. McCain, on the other hand was awesome. Another highlight of this trip was when my friend Dan blinded John Glenn with a camera flash. We’re under the capital, on the monorail, and we get off our car, and John Glenn was right there. Dan is so excited he wants to take his picture, so he runs to point blank range and snaps off a photo. Hilarity.
I think that about covers it. These are the highlights. Hope you enjoy them.