It’s that time again.

It’s 2:23 AM, and that can only mean one thing:  It’s time for me to write an entry that I’ll regret the minute I’ve posted it again.

It’s times like these that I really do wonder who reads my diary.  *tugs collar*  I’m telling you, sometimes I rue the day I created this diary.  It would make my life so much simpler.  Ah well, it’s too late to change it now.

I had a request today from an important person to include more of my actual life in this diary, and to avoid the theological and philosophical diatribes.  Fair enough.  I’ll see what I can do.

I haven’t managed to get a job yet, and at the rate I”m going, I’m just going to skip the whole thing.  I’m going home for the summer, and quite frankly, I don’t see the sense in getting a job out here that I plan to keep for all of two months.  I’ll hit up the temp agencies in town and see if I can whore myself out on a day to day basis for a while.  *sigh*  You all should know how I feel about the man.

This weekend, I didn’t get much of anything done.  It was pretty much me being a piece of refuse all weekend.  I did do some reading and some studying, and I kept up my appearances in all the necessary places, but a part of my life feels mechanical right now.

I think that will end in a couple of weeks.  The next two weeks are going to be over the edge.  I expect my stress levels to jump about three times their current level over that span.  I’ve got my Greek midterm tomorrow.  Then, Thursday, I’ve got an 18 page paper due on 1 Peter 3:1-7 that I’m not really looking forward to writing.  Further study on issues like, “The domestic code mandated by Peter by the suggestion that women should be ‘submissive,’ isn’t something that I rank high on my list of things that give me pleasure.  Do I dislike doing it? Of course not, but writing about it and then getting your work scoured for errors in grammar, theology and Turabian form is not something I enjoy.  I like writing what I think, without all the academic bells and whistles.  It seems to me that that apparatus just clouds the issue.  Next week, I’ve got the other three midterms, and then Spring Break.

I’m looking forward to Spring Break.  That’ll be my first chance to go see The Passion, and I want to do that.  Then maybe if I get lucky I’ll finally get to go skiing.  I’ve been in Colorado for 6 months and haven’t been skiing yet.  That’s got to be some kind of crime.

It’s funny, but it feels like my world is smaller here in Colorado than it ever was in Wisconsin.  I covered a lot more ground there than I am here.  Here, I drive the same circuits over and over and over, and there are people everywhere.  I might be wired for the big city, but let me tell you, I appreciate the country.  More now than ever.

The end of this semester, after Spring Break, should be a snap.  It’s three shorter papers and a few books, but that’s not something I haven’t been doing the first half of this semester, and that’s not even mentioning the other, bigger projects that have to get done.  I’m not too worried. Maybe I should be, but I’m not.  In the words of Adam Duritz, “I am not worried, I am not overly concerned.” 

And of course, I’m still a neurotic freak, thinking entirely too much about things I can’t change, refusing to take my own advice about risktaking and overanalyzing things.  But this is nothing new, as most of you will clearly distinguish.  I’m still painfully reflective, and I spend too much time ripping myself apart, in an effort to fit the pieces back together in a way that is better. 

And I’m learning a lot here at the Seminary.  Stuff they teach you in the manual, and stuff they don’t teach in the manual.  I’ve always been a people watcher, and watching the people around the sem gives me plenty to think about.  There’s all kinds of types.  Too few people who walk around humbly.  I guess they’ve got something to be proud of.  If that’s true, they’ve got one up on me.  “Here is a trustworthy saying, which deserves full acceptance:  Christ came to save sinners, of whom, I am the worst.”  That about sums it up.  I’ll try to get to writing more about what is going on with me here.  Until then, I’ll probably be away from writing here for a while: I’ve too much work to do over the next couple weeks to spend as much time here as I have been recently.