More Thoughts on V-Day.

Happy Valentine’s Day, everyone. (Comment withheld.)

I was thinking about this over the last couple of days, and I think what people like about Valentine’s Day is the air of the unordinary.  It’s a day in the middle of winter where people can go out of their way to make their little dreams realities.  That was what always appealed to me as an aspiring Don Juan back in the tha day.  (*gag* Imagine that…me as a Don Juan…who’d believe it now?)  At any rate, people like the idea of the element of surprise, of mystery, of romance, however real or contrived.  That’s why the candy and flower companies perpetuate the myth:  because they’re selling something people want.  People want their lives to be enflamed by passion and romance.  People want their lives to be extraordinary.  People want something to talk about around the water cooler on the next work day.  But people also want the freedom and intimacy that they don’t feel free to express the rest of the time.

Why are we so afraid to live passionate lives?  Why do we shun the extraordinary at the expense of our dreams?  Why?

For once, I don’t have a solid pat answer prepared, but let me tell you what I do know…in our highly rational culture, passionate, deeply felt emotion is rapidly losing it’s place.  If you look at the movies made now, many of them deal with someone who is highly rational getting caught in loves entanglements, and ultimately subduing to them.  That is the story that entertains us now. We don’t look for Rhett Butler walking through the door to sweep Scarlett off her feet–no one would believe that story anymore.  We tell ourselves that there is something silly about that story, and then we recraft it with all kinds of social problems and intellectual underpinings.  What is wrong with just wanting to go over the edge to claim someone for your own?  There is a beauty in that blessed recklessness, however it ends up.  There is self-discovery there.  We’ve shackled our minds to the idea that we must always be reasonable, and always make sense.  That runs contrary to the depth of emotion we find in all our lives.  All we need do to prove this is check the number of people who seek counseling now for the disappointment they feel from their unfulfilled dreams in the name of ‘constancy’ and ‘responsibility.’  I’m not suggesting we all throw caution to the wind, but there is a place for that, isn’t there?  Don’t we all have to just jump without looking at some point, and take the consequences as they fall?

I can tell you most assuredly that as a now outed-romantic, there is nothing I desire to do more than recklessly pursue and fight for the affections of the one of my choosing.  There is nothing I want to do more.  What is stopping me?  Logic?  Fear?  Social Expectation?  Probably some of each.  I read a book by a guy named John Eldridge called, “Wild at Heart,” and he suggests that all men want to do 3 essential things:  (1) Have an adventure to live.  (2) Have a battle to fight.  (3) Have a beauty to rescue.  On the flip side, he suggests that all women want to do 3 similar things:  (1) Have an adventure to share. (2) Be fought for.  (3) Have a beauty to unveil that is uniquely their own.  In the process of the book, he had me go through my movie collection, the books I love and write down what I loved about the movies.  After I went through the characters, I realized they all had something in common:  namely, they all, in their own ways, did all three things Eldridge suggested.  I’ve talked to lots of women, and most of the ones I’ve talked to, in one way or another acknowledge the list was right on for them too.

So that leads to the next question.  How does a guy go about winning the heart of woman? This is obviously very individual, so I’m only asking you to think about it.  If you’re a guy…what would you be willing to do?  What battles would you fight and how long would you fight that battle?  If you’re a woman, what would it take someone to win your heart?  What would they have to do to prove their love to you?  Just some things to think about today.  Hope you all enjoy your V-Day.  I’ll try my best to do the same. Blessings.