Update

   I’ve had to tell this story to a million people who have been asking me what happened, but I’m very pleased to know that so many people really do care about my situation and how I’m currently feeling.  It’s a pleasant eye opener because I have felt very alone in myself for a while now.

   My boyfriend and I, in the last entry, had finally had enough with fighting and bickering what seemed like once every 20 hours.  The words flying around were just so careless and the tears became a constant thing.  We finally decided to end our relationship after another fight that sent us tumbling over the edge.  I thought it was really over that, mainly because he told me so, but the next morning he woke me with a phone call.  He asked if he could come over and see me before he went out of town to visit his parents.  I tried to act nonchalant like I couldn’t care less if he came over or not, but my heart was actually racing so intensely that I couldn’t handle it.  He said that he really wanted to see – music to my ears – and he came over a few minutes later. 

   We cried, hugged, cried some more, and came to the conclusion that breaking up just wasn’t what we really wanted.  What we desired most was to find a way to compromise and live harmoniously with each other.  I have a temper and he can’t communicate well…with anybody.  Those two things are just recipe for disaster, but the important thing is that we’re ready and willing to make a conscious effort to make things more livable in hopes of meeting our goal of just being consecutively happy.  I don’t want to say that we’re never happy, because that’s so not true, but our faults seem to create high barriers that make it more difficult to stay happy and content.  I’m so happy, however, to know that he’s as willing as I am to fix these things.  It gives me hope that maybe this relationship really is the real thing, and we can make this all the way through without having to cut any wrists (just kidding).  This is the first serious relationship I’ve been a part of where I feel like we are both adults who have a common goal and we are willing to set aside differences to simply make each other smile. 

  That being said, we’re still not officially together but in his words, "they don’t have a status for in love but trying to work things out".  That’s good enough for me.  It’s hope for a better tomorrow!