Change of Plans

Dear Diary,

When I first decided to have a diary online a couple of years ago, my plan was to record my thoughts and feelings of  certain  events that had occurred in my life.  At the time I was in the very beginning stages of grief over the impending death of my daddy.  I was still working on some issues with my youngest son, R.  He had made a complete recovery from his auto accident and was getting on with his life.  I was the one  who was stuck in the fear zone.  You, dear diary, were the place where I was going to work things out.

My writing was going to be just for me. I wasn’t interested in recording events in my life as they occurred on a daily basis.  But some things change.

I’m still interested in recording my memories of the accident and our recovery.  I still want to write about my darling daddy and the lesson he taught me about dying with dignity. But I’ve decided that I will experiment with entries that reflect more of the day to day activities that I face.  We’ll see how this feels.  Who knows…maybe it will be okay.

And so today…An afternoon with Mija and the baby shopping the jewelry stores on Harwin but not finding the ring…A call from Lisa and sharing concerns of J. traveling alone and her home alone…He’s in Thailand but had a change of travel plans when he failed to have a visa (United didn’t share that info and it wasn’t needed last time) and had to purchase a ticket for India. That caused him to miss the flight to Denver and SF but took him to Chicago instead and then straight to Tokyo where he got on his original flight to Bangkok.  His call to Lisa at 11 p.m. last night helped to calm his frustrations and settle him down.  She is soooooo good for him…Accepting the fact that my ring won’t be ready by Friday since hubby dear will want to shop and compare prices on diamonds. No sense in getting upset even though I wanted it this weekend to show it off. Having lost the stone in my engagement ring about a year ago, I’ve just now gotten to the point where I’m ready to replace it.  The gold and diamonds from the original rings have been used in the new design along with stones from an inherited set. I think it will be lovely and I can wait another week…The plans for the remodeling project are a bit closer to being finalized. Once again, hubby is comparing prices and analyzing costs and looking for ways to save on the project.  The door will remain a door and not changed to a window.  The new door and pantry will not be added.  The built-in bookcase will come out and a new shelf system will be added in the wall where the old air return is since it’s just “wasted space”.  We had another guy come today to measure floors for another bid on tile and laminate and carpet ( for comparison purposes).  I have a feeling his prices will be better since he use to work for the guy who gave us the first bid…I’m thinking of updating my resume and presenting it with the idea of a part time position with a neighboring school district.  They will be adding a new course next year that I am already certified to teach. I can return to teaching if I stay out a year after retiring.  I can be hired as a first year teacher  (on the pay scale) with 29 years of teaching experience. And it might benefit the district if I’m interested in a half day position. It’s worth looking into. If it would be a half day position, I could still keep the DCE job with the church since it is for 20 flexible hours a week…Focus on de-cluttering this house and work with the principles of feng shui with the remodel. I can probably incorporate some things without having to explain to hubby. I don’t think he would readily accept something because of feng shui…Saw MIL on Sunday and it’s good to know that the private home that she’s in is clean and comfortable and the woman is very good. Hubby still doesn’t accept that this is probably the beginning of Alzheimeir (not sure of spelling)…`Much to do between now and noon Friday when we leave for the wedding in Dallas. I was hoping Lisa would still be there to go with us but she has to be in Austin on Thursday…As soon as things settle down (ha!) I need to check with the doctor about my sleeping or lack of it.

I guess this is my…

…change of plans.

~Susie

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January 27, 2004

so much stuff…take care