CHOCOLATE-MINT MADNESS AND POWER BARS

You would think I would have a better thing to do than to sit here and write on a Friday night, but unfortunately I have no life and no friends(no real friends anyways). I like to be unhappy and alone as much as I hate it it’s what I’ve become accustomed to. Now the reason I say this is because I’ve noticed that when ever anyone tries to get close to me, I scare them away and when they resist this I run away from them. After all life is nothing if it’s not dramatic, nothing but logical, in other words it would be like a mathematical problem. When you first start solving it, it seems complicated but in the end there is only one answer. I know some math whiz is going to be like that’s not true, and I cant say anything to that I just know that a life with out drama would be uninteresting. The truth loses its importance, once you have dramatized a situation it becomes a matter of feelings and irrational actions. And if there are no irrational actions then everything makes sense. Now I don’t know about you but a world where everything makes sense is boring to me. All this said we return to our original subject which is my involuntary habit of driving people away. At first I thought it was just accidents but I’m beginning to see a pattern, since two people upon leaving me or should I say being driven away asked me “why am I trying to make them hate me? Why am I trying to make them believe that I’m a horrible person?” to which I responded by saying “well this is who I really am I’ve just been lying to you for my own amusement” in both cases this was partially true and I stand by that. My real problem however is that I don’t like others invading my space and that’s not like room space but more like mind space. If someone has gotten more information than I intended to give then I can’t be around that person anymore. One other thing in my interesting routine is that I get tired of people particularly soon, my longest relationship was about 3 months and I wanted to end it after the first month but she wouldn’t leave me alone. Other than that my other relationships were two to three weeks long, and I’m not unhappy about that. In my life other human being are nothing but problematic toys that need to be thrown away after they are old and broken. This is not a cry for help or an instructional guide, it’s is just my feeling or logic on the subject and I hope that whoever reads this can see that most of us have the tendency to be playful and cruel sometimes. Now if you can admit that then you may be able to live with yourself in a comforted state of mind or perhaps it could be ignored and you could live in ease without having to admit that humans are horrifying creatures. I’m not talking about mass murderers or kamikaze bombers; I’m talking about the everyday star bucks’ owners and wall-mart family members now these just spring to mind because the rich have the tendency to want more and not let anything get in the way of what they want, but the message is that we may be the beautiful people on the surface but we are also the ones who sabotage our dearest friends to get nothing more than a few pieces of paper that make the world a mathematical equation. Power is everything and until we realize that we have no control over anything other than what we have created; we shall be in the never ending quest of gaining ultimate power. One can take this in from two different perspectives, one that it makes no difference in the grand scheme of things to have power or it could be taken as a warning to start the struggle to create and control something to the point of ultimate power. I’m working on both so if I fail I have the safety net of knowing that it wouldn’t matter in the long run anyways, perhaps something I have created to comfort me in my failure(if there should be one ). After all I’ve only got to fool one person, and that’s an easy task for me. I believe that if you are telling a lie it will always be more convincing if you believe what you are saying is true. It usually works with me, to the point that even I forget that what I’m saying is a lie.