09/13/2013

So it’s Friday. I left work early to go shopping at the drugstore. I spent a lot more than I expected. Oh well.Oh how I miss this diary! I no longer make my You Tube vlogs. There’s not much to say in them. And I lost interest. So, Shaun gave me an ultimatum a few weeks ago. Talk or else say goodbye. So I spoke a while in his car. I spoke about feeling worthless. And how I didn’t like eye contact or intimacy like that. He said he didn’t think anything less of me. We watched the stars. I’ve never felt the same way for anyone before. It just happened. Who knew we could fall in love so quickly and easily? I looked him in the eyes when he was talking to me and I told him that I’ve never looked at anyone like that before. He said I just want more than what he can give me. Well all last week he texted me. And some this week. At the beginning of this week he "dropped some clues" and asked if I figured him out yet. He said he wasn’t all that hard to figure out. I tried talking to him on the phone but no words came out. All a bunch of mumbo jumbo. I felt like such an idiot too. He said to call him back when I could talk. So I texted him because it was late and I couldn’t sleep without telling him. I said it was a tough one at first. He said something like "With a lot of effort, it will be worth it." So I assumed that it was either my feelings or opinions that he wanted from me. So I texted him about being wanted. We haven’t talked since and I feel I have to talk to him ASAP. There’s no going back now. But I am terrified. I forgot to mention "Somebody’s Heartbreak" by Hunter Hayes came on the radio when we were out the last time…..and Shaun turned it up……..yeah…..I think he likes me…..I’m not stupid…….