A Change of Heart?
Hi. Just a quick note that Catholic Charities was going to help me with setting goals. I just remembered that today. They were going to help me out in that way, not financially. I just wanted to clarify for you.
And I got home today from work and there was a message from the doctor’s office that said that my counselor had called them and I needed to call them back. So I just did and they are giving me a generic brand name of some other drug. But I still don’t know as if I will take it. Why? Because weight gain is a side effect. That’s not good because I’ve lost so much weight. They wanted to put me on Cymbalta because that drug was the only one that didn’t have weight gain as a side effect. But obviously that was too expensive. Who knows?!
So…I thought of something today. I made up this new strategy called the "Survival Strategy". It’s something like this:
1. LIG
2. LIB
3. GIT
Now I know you’re looking at that thinking, "What?!" Let me explain. Number one (LIG) stands for "Let It Go". Number two stands for "Leave It Behind" and number three is "Get It Together". In other words, this is a technique that I made up for myself that can help me be a more positive person. It will help me get over the past.
So next week I plan on getting the prescription drugs. They want me to go back to the doctors in 2 weeks after I start taking it. So I figure I will go and have a physical then. Hopefully that will work this time.
I tried on all my nice really dressy clothes today to see what I could wear to Memorial day and for the concerts but none of them fit. It disappoints me. I had some really nice things and I didn’t wear 99.9% of them once! Now I can’t wear any of them. I am NOT going out and buying new clothes either. I can’t afford them. I just don’t have the desire to either. I guess I will be wearing jeans and a T-shirt then. Oh well. At least I’m thinner, right? Although it does tick me off.
Tomorrow I have yet another counselor appointment. I hope that I don’t have overtime at work. I better not. I can’t stay if I do because I have to go see the counselor.
Ashley is taking this weekend off from work which is not good. We both have Monday off too. That means when we come in on Tuesday, the place will be a mess and 6 people are going home! That’s a lot of work! Eric is going to be helping, but still. I hope I don’t have overtime then either.
Oh yeah, I thought about applying at the Elm Street Cafe today too. I could be a waitress there as well.
As far as school is concerned, I’ll be honest….I LOVED it when I went. LOVED it. But there is no way I could pay for that either. And I would rather work than go to school. Seriously. I am like a work-a-holic. I’d rather work 2 jobs then go to school and work. Maybe later on I’ll go.
I decided today that I need a change in my life. I really need to change my attitude. Especially my negative thoughts. And that change started today! YEAH! How cool! I need more positive things in my life. And I am going to try my hardest to change my life in that respect. I really do need to stop feeling sorry for myself. I’ve had enough of sitting around here feeling bad.
So that’s about it. I think anyway. I need to write out what I am going to say in counseling tomorrow. Or I may just type it on this computer. I bring a notebook full of notes in which to say to my counselor so that I don’t forget anything. I like to be prepared. She told me the last time that I can talk about whatever I want to (again) and she said that her clients come in and spill their guts. Well, I’m sorry but I don’t know what to say. I’ve told her everything in the beginning session with my life story. So what I am going to do is just explain all of that in more detail. I think anyway. I really don’t know.
I’m really in the mood to bake something tonight. Depsite the hot weather.
I can’t wait until I get paid in exactly one week! Then my debt will be paid off! OH YEAH! I am so very excited about that. I’ll get paid in cash on Monday for Memorial Day and then I can buy my prescription with that money! I just have to walk to the drugstore after work on Tuesday.
Oh yeah and another thing. Remember I told you how I need to change my life and my attitude? Well, I am going to make something I call a "Blessings Box". Ever hear of a "God Box"? How about a "Prayer Box"? It’s something similiar. Except I write down things that I am thankful for and put them in a box. Everything I start complaining or think of something negative, I can reach in and read them! How neat!