So what next? *Edit*

If the military installation can’t even get people to where they’re supposed to be at, I think that’s a problem.

There’s no procedure today.  Considering the slow wheels of bureaocracy (sp and I don’t care) it’ll be another month or so.  I don’t know if he can handle another month.

I was supposed to talk to his mom nowish.
I can’t even comprehend what I’d say.

He didn’t even GET there.  Fucking incompetent people.
If he has to wait much longer and they end up not being able to fix him because they waited too long, I can almost assure you I will go postal.

The worst thing is that there’s nothing I can do.  I can’t even give him a hug.

INMATE

I’m so upset I’m shaking. 

I almost lost him the night before he left.  I almost lost him but I’m holding on so hard.  I’m holding onto hope, that one day it’ll all be fixed and shit’ll be aight.  I can carry the both of us for as long as it takes.  (Just hoping there’ll be something left to ME by the time this is over, one way or another.)
Still, I’m so afraid that one day I’ll get that phone call from his mom…

He’d be FINE if his leg was fixed.  But the longer the fuckers wait to fix it (and there’s not even a guarantee that it CAN be fixed) the better the chance I’ll lose him. 
There’s really nothing I can do for him except be here… several states away…

That’s really not my style.  I’m typically pro-active.  Agh.  I can’t focus on anything.

A part of my heart is breaking.  I don’t know if I can handle him not walking.  And that’s so bad.  It’s so bad.  Because I love him more than anything (except dance obviously).  But my whole life revolves around activity…

It’s just that he gives me everything and he makes me so happy and he’s saved me so many times.
I can’t even return it. 

I’m about dead to the world.
There are so many emotions inside of me right now that I have never felt.  I am so overwhelmed, I don’t know how to handle it.  Wow.  Craziness.

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February 19, 2008

*hugs* I hope everything goes ok for you girl.

February 19, 2008

I’m so sorry honey.

February 19, 2008

Focus on the good, positive energy you can send to him. When those negative thoughts pop in, just gently tell them that you will deal with those things when and IF they happen, until then, you’re going to focus on a complete and full recovery. Big hugs to you. I’m praying.

February 20, 2008

May I ask what happened to his leg? I’m unable to recall. I’m also a little fuzzy on what you mean by “losing him”. Is his health in jeopardy because of the leg injury? As for your love of him, I don’t doubt that at all. As such, LOVE really does prevail. If he can’t walk as a result of his injuries, you’d be amazed at just how active his (& your) lives still could be. I used to be a doubter…

February 20, 2008

…Opting to choose death over life, when I too was faced with the possibility of having my left leg amputated. I told the doctor’s to all f*ck the f*ck off. In the end, it all worked out, but I was convinced that my life would be over. Then years later I met & ultimately lost a very good friend. He’d broken his back & was told he’d NEVER walk again. He proved EVERYONE wrong. Not only did he…

February 20, 2008

…walk (albeit, w/ a severe limp), but although being in a great deal of pain, he continued to do everything that he loved, & doing so w/o complaints. I learned a lot from his life. In addition to him, I also seen a documentary called “MURDERBALL” which showcases the U.S.Quadriplegic Rugby team. Mark Zupan, a fellow with his whole life ahead of him, was struck down in a car accident which…

February 20, 2008

…left him a quadriplegic. Along with him and several others, I learned that “life-altering” injuries aren’t the end of the world. It’s difficult for me to explain, but I assure you, IF you can find this movie/documentary to rent, then RENT IT. It’s definately a MUST SEE. It’s inspirational. Truly. I wrote about it waaaaaay back in 2005. I was so moved by it, & I believe you would be too.

February 20, 2008

I’m sorry. I hope it all works out. He’ll be in my prayers…