Who am I again?

Wow.  Just wow.

It’s moments like these that put those days of hell back in their place (bad dreams).
…Moments like this entire week.

Last Saturday (or was it Sunday?  Friday, even?) I flipped flapjacks, pancakes, and my shit all at the same time  because I was so unstable at the time.
Kelly was in town.  His Grandma died… he was in for her funeral.  All the stories he told me made me wish I would have known her.  She was my kind of woman.  : )
Anyway.  He showed up in my driveway.  He set my head on straight. 

And then, suddenly, there was no doubt in my mind that all the shit we put each other through is totally worth it.  I wouldn’t have it any other way.

We have spent the majority of the past few days together.  Almost more time than I’ve spent with anyone, really, outside of my family. 
In the back of my mind, I know he leaves again on Saturday.  It’s a dull ache and I’m having trouble looking at life after Saturday.  Every once in a while he’ll just squeeze my hands and he’ll have this mixed look- half murder, half despair and he doesn’t even have to say anything because I know that dull ache is there with him, too.

I feel like such a nutcase.  And I’m sure there’s no linear thought process anywhere within this entry… I haven’t even been thinking straight the past few days.  I don’t know where Tuesday went.  Tuesday at midnight him and I were watching Star Wars… and he didn’t leave until 0400, much to my parentals dismay.  Well, it was my mom who turned on the driveway light. 
I will always remember the two of us peering through the "tactical windows" from the backseat of his car, staring at that light.  The following conversation read like this:
Me, quietly: ‘Uh-oh."
Him, defeated:  "Fuck."
Me, agreeably: "Shit."

I had a talk with my mom (after she calmed down) that morning, until 0500, about Kelly.  Told her I loved him and she wasn’t upset, despite all of her "Thank God you’re single" talks. 
It was the conversation I’d been dreading but it seemed like the right time.  And it went well, totally taking me aback. 
She may not like it.  But she supports me and that means the world.
My dad… as far as I can tell, he’s like Whatever the Fuck.  His only issue is that he doesn’t think Kelly can take care of me… because of his leg. 
One time Kelly was over and my dad made some underhanded crack about the USMC and Kelly and I had to bite my lip to keep from getting into an arguement then and there.

Anyway.  On Tuesday, I slept a few hours and then him and I went off again… International House of Pancakes actually… where I cleaned out a plate of French Toast and 3 pancakes.  It was International Pancake Day… and I got free pancakes.  It was an impressive feat, if I do say so myself.

There’s plenty of shit I should be doing, I’m sure.
I just am so happy right now I’d rather just lay down and stare at the ceiling and just freakin’ smile my ass off.  This is such a weird feeling.
Heh.  I haven’t seen him smile so much in all the 6 years I’ve known him.  He glows when he smiles.  I’ve never noticed that before, either.

INMATE 

Wearing::  Black booty shorts, my cut-off sweatpants, white tank
Feeling::  Nuts.  XD