Sometimes… I want to give up.

Wearing::  Black slinky jazz pants and a purple snake looking tank.
Last ate::  Hamburger with mustard, cheese and lettuce.
Feeling::  Like the world’s standing on my shoulders.

I’m trying to figure out how in the hell to proceed with my life.  Every time I think I’ve figured it out I get so fucking depressed that I can’t do anything about it anymore.  I don’t want to be depressed. 
But it’s like every freaking route I turn something slams me in the head.  Dance?  I gotta have a car!  First I gotta have some money.  Well, shit.  There’s no money to be had.  College?  Gotta have money or a scholarship.  Scholarship?  How do I apply for one?  As long as they don’t look at my parents tax records so that we all get arrested.  I think I’m elligible though because my mom just now started working and she brings in like $200-$250 a month, and I bring in around $45-60.  So… I think I could apply for one at the local community college.  But I want to dance but right now I’m too fucking down about the whole situation to do squat but sit here and stare out the fucking window wishing things were different.
And I’m not like this.  Not at all.  I’m a go-getter, usually one of the good guys that gets everyone else encouraged to acheive their dreams, or I’ll cheer them up if they’re in a bad mood. 
I can’t even afford to get depressed.  I was taken off anti-depressants like a year and a half ago because we couldn’t afford to purchase them anymore. 
I just wish… I don’t know.  I wish I could find the drive to acheive my dreams.
I wish I could figure out what my dreams are so that I can achieve them. 
I have no idea what’s wrong with me. 
Sometimes I just want to give up.

-INMATE-